Schizophrenia.com

Im immortal


#1

I’ve nearly died many times but for some reason i don’t die.

Three severe head injuries while young.

Almost killed by a semi truck three times, one of these times was a three car crash while i was in the middle of the road(it’s complicated).

A knife held to my throat twice while homeless.

Two or three bouts of homelessness, complete with beatings, untreated diseases, having my car stolen, knives held to my throat, freezing cold weather.

Two psychoses, tortorous bouts of psychosis complete with other beings, smelling sulfur, same times on the clock repeatedly, and having my mind taken over.

A horrendous smoking habit that kicked into high gear when my life was ruined by “schizophrenia”(which isn’t schizophrenia at all).

Years of poisonous medication.

Horrible diet.

No exercise.

Ending up across country during both psychoses with no money, one of these times i should have froze to death but the weather did a one eighty and it was nice out of nowhere, from freezing cold with ice on the ground to nice sandal weather. I kept getting food to, it just fell in my lap.

Why aren’t i dead? I should be dead right now. I won’t die.


#2

It’s not your time yet. I should have died several times too but I haven’t. It’s not time yet. You still have something to do in life before you can leave.


#3

I have something to do?

Shouldn’t i know what that is?

How am i supposed to escape this place if i don’t know what it is?

If i never knew what it was that i was supposed to do would i be here forever?! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!


#4

I believe every one has a purpose in life. You can leave when that is done. You don’t know what the secret purpose is. Maybe something you have to learn, maybe something you have to do for your self or to others.


#5

You have really been to such horrible incidents which will certainly disturb one’s life severely. I am sorry to hear that. You know what I have a special quote for you (actually someone from this forum shared it today) “The thing that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. You are a strong person and thumbs up to that you made it to this point.

Live for yourself or live for others, but see the bright side of it. I can see it and I want to show it to you as well. You posted all this detail and I am sure you are an inspiration for many around you or at least for me (for sure).


#6

Yes, there are lessons here.

Like what it is to go without, broken hearts, shattered dreams, things like this.

It’s all wrong, morbid, crap. Thats what im learning, what crap is, useless crap and what it’s like to go through worthless crap, the muck and the mire, just trudging.


#7

That qoute i don’t really believe in.

If it doesn’t kill you it just hurts alot and scars you the rest of your life.

It’s like with anything really, does pelting something make it stronger, no, it erodes it, it breaks it down, leaves chips and gashes, things like that.

And the people hate you because all they say is “tell me something i want to hear.” Thats all they want, sweet lies coming from your mouth, but there isn’t anything sweet left in there after so much of it.


#8

Maybe your lesson is to overcome these bad thoughts and events stuck in your head?


#9

When things go good ill not have bad thoughts anymore.

I don’t want to blind myself, is that what you mean by overcome?

In my opinion overcoming this would mean to lie to myself.


#10

Yes. That what I mean. You have to learn to let go of the bad feelings and thoughts. It is hard. I hated my abusive sadistic psychopath dad for over 20 years. Hate and anger will consume you. It will never be better if you can’t start to let go of things. I don’t hate him anymore. I don’t love him either. He has the right to live as much as I do. I was going to kill him when I was 16. But got a chance to leave home instead. Small things can make big changes in your life.


#11

Comatose, you are the right one who can discuss with Pansdisease about how to let go of the bad feelings such as hate and anger. Pansdisease has a lot of hate and anger on his heart which is a big burden for him to be soft and to give a smile to this world. He is as hard as a rock and can not smile.


#12

You’re a survivor you’re not immortal. The human spirit can overcome great obstacles. I’ve had the same thoughts but comes down to surviving life in general. As Mother Teresa said once “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”


#13

I wouldn’t go too far thinking you’re invulnerable. Something might get you. I don’t subscribe to that quote by Nietzsche - “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” It’s possible to be crippled and not killed.


#14

i now dont believe in reincarnation.
because how does one learn, if you have no recollection of past lifes.