The title can be misleading… We’re all going to die… In fact, the majority of our bodies die every year. Since our cells only live so long, the cells that make us up right this moment will mostly be dead and gone in a year from now.
Not the point I wanted to start a topic on though. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m going to die in August of this year. My credit card expires in August, my SSDI review is supposed to happen in August. Probably some other crap I’m forgetting to mention as well. Also, if I actually start taking the meds my doctor recommended (Risperidone), there’s a chance I’ll get diabetes. I’m already overweight and at high risk for diabetes and heart disease, so the meds will most likely cause it. Hell, maybe it’s the meds that will kill me?
I know this is paranoid thinking and I’m trying to get it under control, but I can’t. The anxiety won’t friggin leave me alone.
I’m not even really that stressed about the things happening in August either. I mean, I’m more stressed about dying that month than I am about the crap that should stress me out. The scary part is that when I get a prediction, it’s usually right. What if things go haywire that month and it’s actually my own suicide I’m predicting? I hate this.
It’s hard to get over. I’m going through the same thing. Many random events are coming to a head in about the same week and I’m fearing the worst. Not for me, but for someone close to me. I’ve been working so hard to tell myself I’m NOT predicting the future.
It’s hard to fight. Logically I’d say, it’s just a list of random. But this brain of mine has to argue and tell me there is a deep meaning why it’s all coming to a head on this particular week.
I do hope you find someone to talk to and a way to calm the anxiety about this. It’s scary and worrying yourself sick might make what you fear come true just because you’ve worried so much.
Please talk to the doc and maybe find a way to get the diabetes out of the picture. People have been reporting weight loss by just walking and working on eating less.
I’d say, work on living and you have a better chance of making it to September.
Risperdal or risperidone does elevate blood sugar, but usually not as bad as lets say Zyprexa or Seroquel - if one watches what they eat while taking Risperdal, blood sugar levels do not have to be way out of control. I am diabetic and take Risperdal and am doing ok in the blood sugar level dept.
But don’t forget while all those little cells are dying other cells are forming and growing. While some are dying others are just beginning. Your credit card will be renewed. Your SSDI will be renewed.
I’m not sure if you’re religious or believe in spiritual stuff, but when I thought I was going to die I prayed to God and Angels who I believe protected me. So maybe pray for a safer month.
You can always talk to your doctor about your concerns, and get on something less likely to cause issues.
The credit card will reknew itself, but its just weird how it expires in the same month that everything converges on. In fact if you look at it, it shows: My Name exp 08/14… Almost like I expire 08/14. So yea…
Also, I don’t really want to take Risperidone, but my Pdoc made it very clear that it’s the only AP that he’s willing to prescribe (other than Abilify that I can’t afford). So if I’m gonna get any relief from symptoms, I will need to take Risperidone. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Sux. The stupid thing is that I’m not even pro meds either. I can usually manage with the symptoms since I don’t have to put up with side effects. Just lately I’ve been acting strange beyond my control and cant stop obsessing about certain ideas so my wife is starting to worry. Which means I need to take something before it blows up. So I have to take the Risperidone whether I like it or not.
We are all going to die-the fortunate one know when.
Another slant on this topic is you have 2 months to prepare everything just in case. Nothing wrong with getting your affairs in order.
Reminds me of all those health nuts at the end of their lives, laying there, dying of nothing…
