I dont even know what a relationship would look like for me but im pretty sure im going to die alone. I need to find another crazy person whom i find attractive. I dont see anyone else being into me. Just sucks. This is not the life i wanted. Im a million pounds with a cigarette addiction and no money. Just a looser bro
If your weight bothers you lose the weight. If the cigarettes bother you stop smoking. These are the things in your control. Love is not something you can control. It comes when it comes. And we all die alone. Everyone has to cross the threshold by themselves and nobody comes with us.
Be happy with yourself. if you’re destroying yourself with food and cigs then there might be some underlying self-loathing that isn’t being addressed. So start with some self love and then start changing what you can control. The only one who can change you is you
I agree with @crazydiamond444 's input. And I also can relate to how you feel as far as what you mentioned. I th8nk crazydiamon444 is right though, food and cigarettes are something you can improve about. And for love, you know what? I think when it comes to that stuff, when you feel happy with who you are as a person, that self-confidence is attractive to people. I know being depressed can be tough, but honestly, finding some happiness I think helps in finding someone who would be interested in you as a person. I don’t think it is too late for anyone to find a significant other if that is what they want, I think it just requires learning to accept yourself as a person and be okay with who you are.
I have to agree with @crazydiamond444. If you are displeased with certain aspects of yourself then make changes. Financial stability, obesity & cigarette smoking can be changed; however “love with a woman” is a task that even to me seems to be the most difficult hurdle.
I also like hearing from you yinyang. You too are very frank about your opinions and hearing from the point of view from someone across the sea is always interesting. I do have to mention that even for you, I think happiness is attractive.
I am just replying in response to @ablue. @crazydiamond444 is correct in his point of view.
Can you broaden your criteria to include average people with attractive qualities? I don’t know, but i sure there are some amazing people who are worth it.
Still difficult AF im sure to navigate the dating no matter what i guess.
Yes you can!
It takes effort and persistence.
Maintaining it is the challenge
Shout out to op who’s feeling down.
I won’t get to worked out about your problems yet.
Therapy will help you quit ciggs and loose weight and build a good self esteem
You are not alone. Find a therapist. Don’t get down because nobody succed on they’re own
It’s likely that I will die alone too, but as long as they don’t try to bury me before I’m dead, or cremate me before I’m dead I’m not too worried about it.
You sound like you’re being tough on yourself. Maybe try looking with a kinder eye. It can help to create the space to make better decisions.
I feel ya, @ablue
I think a lot of the points people are making in this thread are absolutely valid. At the same time, nicotine addiction is insidious and withdrawal is on par with that of opiates. For myself and many others, I’m sure, it’s not as simple as saying: “okay, I’m going to quit smoking”.
Establishing a healthy diet and exercising regularly are obviously great habits. These things can be challenging though, and take a ton of time and effort.
Thank you all for your uplifting and kind words. I am so very hard on myself. Ive never understood the idea of self love. I try to think about it and i cant understand. I have always felt like omce i get my body under control my life will be as i want it. And i will be free to love and live. That everything will be alright after that. I have hope that there is a path to get where i need to be to be happy. I just have to find it. Sometimes the hope bothers me in that i wish i would just fully bottom out and maybe i will in one foul swoop realise what i need to do.
we all die alone. dont worry about it. you gots to live the present, the past is dead and the future doesnt really exist.
I hear your concerns.
But i must say that we all die alone
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