I'm friendly but no close friends at the moment

But not from lack of opportunity. I’m afraid I’m too picky when it comes to friends even though some guys and even some women have made friendly overtures to me to go out and do something.

Some people like me but at the last minute I balk and decline invitations. Part of the reason is that I’m a single 55 year old male who’s life got interrupted by paranoid schizophrenia at age 19 and now I am trying to figure out my place in the world which I should have done when I was 19. It may sound stupid, but I’m trying to “find myself” and being alone sometimes helps me to figure it out.

My back is probably going to be injured for the rest of my life and I’m trying to grasp the fact that I am now going from being a physical person who likes sports and hard physical work to someone who can barely get around. And how I can get around my neighborhood knowing that it is a nice neighborhood most of the time but violence breaks out sometimes and in the condition my back is in, if worst comes to worst, I cannot run, and if I get pushed or knocked down even once, it is very, very possible that it could cripple me for far, far worse than I already am. I’m not being melodramatic, these are the facts.

But actually even some tough hoods AND pretty girls like me!! I fancied myself a tough guy when I was younger, I did some “stuff” that might have validated that label. And I think
about that sometimes. But now I’m ready to settle down and enjoy my life and become more social… I’m sorry if I post too much about myself, my intent is to try to help people, and I do that by example and I think of other people besides myself. Anyways, have a good Sunday people, see you in the funny papers.

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Good Sunday to you, too.

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You definitely are not. I can relate to that. Someone described me, too, as 15 years old boy trapped in a 39 years old body.

You are a strong example.

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Same for me too. I don’t know why I do it. I think shyness cripples me.

I often feel like you, in szo my career was about to finish but I rejected myself and only keep in mind that what my father wishes for me, this is more practical approach.

My only symptom at this point is alogia, that makes it impossible for me to make friends. Well I met a guy at an outing a couple weeks ago and we talk on whatsapp, the alogia doesn’t affect my ability to type just my ability to speak.

I have a bad track record with making friends, I dont make an effort because I’m perfectly happy on my own. I used to see people who need others’ validation as weak, this website is my most recent reason for ignoring people around me.

I used to be a pretty intelligent gregarious dude, I just kept to myself. Now Im forced to keep to myself because I have the alogia.

Its actually really humiliating to be infront of someone and have them talking animatedly to you and then to not be able to respond. This is one of the reasons I avoid social contact.