Schizophrenia.com

I'm feeling too much pressure to be normal

I’ve been going to school full time for now 7 months and I’ve been maintaining my social life but I’m starting to feel the ill effects on my health. I’ve now gained 5 pounds and I’m smoking like a chimney. I won’t get a break till december. I got more time off when I worked full time. I’m not really asking for advice, more just blowing off steam, but a lot of people around me just expect me to be normal. Its tiring keeping up with that. I still want to do all the things I did before I was sick but it is like life on hard mode. Sorry for the venting.

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I’m pretty much a hermit. Just consider all your activities a victory. If you give in to your fears you will have nothing going on and be bored to death.

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Thats true but it gets really tiring. I may go back to part time schooling at some point. The meds and life are wearing me out a bit.

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You don’t know though. Others might have something too. You’re not the only one.

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Venting is good. Allows you to let off some internal pressure. That’s what we are for.

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I feel the same way. Living life as a schizophrenic is so hard. I don’t have hallucinations or voices but the constant agitation. A slight change in my routine completely ruins me for days.

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I had a run in with an ex today and it completely threw me off. They are doing so well and I’ve just gone downhill. I’m a bit depressed today.

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I hate that feeling. Someone from my past I had erotomania with got married and they recently had a baby girl. It crushed me. I moved on but I wish I had something special with someone, I can’t even have kids.

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I have for a while have been active with friends, going to church, going shopping, helping them cook lunch, when I move and settle down, I will go to the park and go grocery shopping often, I will try to keep up with my diet too.

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Oddly enough I’m actually chatting with my ex today. Its weird but I opened up about my illness and they totally think its fine and say I shouldn’t be embarrassed. Apparently they have had a rough go at it as well, lots of debt. I think life is hard for everyone. I had erotomania as well, especially with my neighbors, it was hard when I realized the relationships weren’t real but I’m over it now

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I just keep my head down and take everything a day, an hour at a time. I have more on my plate now but I seem to handle it alright in smaller increments the way I organize it mentally in my head.

Yah you seem to be doing really well lately. Kudos. I think it is going to be awhile before I can work.

Thanks Air. But my job is really easy and I’m still really reliant on my parents. Even to do the job as they pay for my car. So I don’t feel all that great about everything but it’s steps in the right directions that counts.

School seems a bit harder for me to handle than a job. So we all got our strengths and weaknesses we gotta work at/around.

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Very true. I still rely on my parents for everything financially. We will see if I get ssi/ssdi. It would be nice to accrue savings again

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that’s pretty cool that you opened up to your ex

I don’t speak to or see any of my old flames

I’m only friends with men I haven’t dated or slept with.

We are still kinda close even though its been years since we lived on the same side of the country. I give them a lot of school advice. Our relationship was secretive and we still don’t really talk about it that much. It was a lot of fun way back

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Im sorry to hear that, I did a work trial recently and it was sooo harrrddd to be normal omg it really exhausted me, I maybe know where your coming from.

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Yah it is hard. This illness takes a toll. I’m outwardly fine but on the inside I kinda freak a bit.

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I wish I cared more about my appearance

and Mr. Daze always says I dress weird

it seems everyone wants to look nice
but I really just don’t care.

You look good daze and you know it. Everyone should dress how they want otherwise this would be a very boring world. I’m amazed you can stay in such good shape on the meds you take

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