Schizophrenia.com

I'm disappointed with myself

Seriously, I don’t know how to chose people in my life. It’s always the same disappointment. I don’t mean to generalize and say everyone sucks because I know that’s not the truth, but seriously, I make really poor decisions regarding who I chose to be in my life.

I don’'t know how to change this. I will talk to my therapist about it in the next session. I just wish I knew before hand instead of getting disappointed every time.

sounds like you’re expecting something and it’s not turning out right. I guess that’s what we all do, we want things to go a certain way and when they don’t we might stress or get disappointed. I think the lesson is not about wanting to control life all the time, although we will do that anyway. Just that we are learning from our life experiences. And although you may consider your decisions poor, at the time you didn’t know any better.

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You’re probably right. I’ll try to take that into consideration

I don’t think you make poor decisions, it’s OK to make mistakes, nobody is perfect. Sometimes we like people and enjoy them even though they are not good for us. It just means you are a loving person and see beyond someone’s faultiness. Just if you think the cons outweigh the friendship, slowly make peace and let it go :o)

HUGS!!

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Thank you sweety you’re right, I need to make peace with it. Maybe I’m overreacting

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I think it is best to choose friends who share the same belief and values.

Keep us posted about your therapy in the next session.

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I agree and I will. Thank you Plumber.

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I have only a few close friends. They are not even close to my own age. Look outside the box, you might find your soul mate in an elderly woman or a very young one. My friends are 87 and 59. I’ll be 40 next year.

The secret I found out was independency, You can’t control other people, they can’t control you. If either of you try to control the other one it won’t be a good relationship.

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You’re right. I’ll look outside the box.

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I agree. Maybe if you changed your strategy a little in relating to others it would help. I’m not saying change your whole personality, but take a few risks. They don’t always succeed at first, but things might improve in time.

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I’ve made amends with the friends I used to question. Even the college guys.

Your issue might be that you are a very caring person and very few can match that.

My friends are still more interested in other things. One group parties and have some 4th dimensional ■■■■-fest. The other crowd has their music and they practice constantly and take it very seriously. Then all my college friends have gfs/wives and decent jobs.

I don’t really connect on any of those notes.

It really only takes finding one person you can really connect with to alleviate this need for friendship. If you find that person or a couple people. You might be more content with just letting other people be who they are. You are a smart person @minnii and you have a higher capacity for thinking and it shows in your concerns for everyone.

If you do get back into school and take to a program that reflects/requires your capacities you will likely find people who also have that capacity. You’ll have the schoolwork and environment to bond over and from there you might make long term friends who really care about you.

These are just some thoughts.

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Thank you. You get me :heart:

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I don’t know if it was mentioned, but perhaps you are a stronger, more mature person than others tend to be at this point in their lives, @Minnii. Encouraging others to grow by your example and kind words may be how you demonstrate your being further down the road than them. If they don’t respond in kind, eventually you may need to take your leave from their presence. Your maturity receives more merit when you can use it to better others, in short. :upside_down_face:

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Thank you for your kind words @Gir, I wish it was that simple

You can’t put the blame solely on yourself. People can be very deceptive and it’s hard to spot sometimes. Everyone, even neurotypical people have this problem of being deceived and screwed over. You can’t blame yourself.

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You’re right, I have that habit, blaming myself, like I should’ve known better.

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We all do, we think we should have seen it or somehow put it on yourself that maybe you deserve to be treated that way but some people are nasty and only care about themselves.

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Sorry for the naïveté. The world isn’t that simple, you are so right. I guess I was just trying to think of a way you could try to help others along. What I forgot to realize, is that some people don’t want that help. I do think, however, that you are a strong friend, who is dignified and mature.

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It’s about a particular person I chose to confide in and the disappointment is too much. I think that I helped her the only way I could and now I just have to sit back and see where she’s going with that. My guess is that she will remain the same, and that she won’t change because noone around her promotes that change. It’s not my resposibility or my calling to help her more than that. She’s manipulative and she uses good people in her advantage and for me that’s terrible. Now I have tickets to go to a show with her in July, and I’m planning after that to cut ties with her, maybe slowly but I will. I don’t want that kind of negativity in my life.

You just may have to cut your ties. Manipulation is a terrible trick against others, and you shouldn’t put up with it.