Schizophrenia.com

Im depressed... Paradoxical Effect

I saw something really sad and I started smiling, laughing and was filled with joy and it makes me really depressed because its against what I truly feel on the subject and it hurts me that I was like that

Paradoxical laughter - Wikipedia.

I think it was my schizophrenia but now I am deeply troubled

PS schizophrenia is an evil illness

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Sometimes I need to laugh, to prevent my mind from snapping. Could it be that it just overwhelmed you, and it was better to laugh than cry?

I wouldn’t go drawing sweeping conclusions about yourself based on that

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Truth. In 2014 I got a phone call from my uncle saying my grandmother (his mother) had died at 102 years old. I burst out laughing in hysterics. He pointedly asked me “What the hell is so funny?” For him to say “hell” is like getting the Pope to say f-ck on TV. Anyway, super-awkward as I tried to regain my composure, but we both knew I was acting from then on. Oddly, truth be told, I was glad that witch was dead. Had been a thorn in my side for too damn long. At one point, I thought she was going to out live me just to spite me. A difficult person to say the least.

So yeah, I get what you’re saying OP.

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I’m sad at weddings and happy at funerals, for whatever reason; I have schizophrenia.

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