I'm dead but

I feel like I died and just came back alive. But I remember the past because ‘they’ wanted me too…

I guess I even thought I had cotard’s syndrome before but I overcame the strongest delusions of negation out there.

I try to relate it to entertainment shows and movies and tvs.

Like not to cause controversy or problems, but I had a NDE in college and woke up thinking nothing was real or anything, developed an insidious case of schizophrenia, and then woke up thinking and believing I was in the matrix or not real. It never went away. I do eat however, and never felt I was rotting flesh, but I didn’t think I had a heart or a heart beat early on, but I do.

So, if you really believe in simulation theory, it’s dangerous because you don’t exist or aren’t real and don’t even qualify as dead because dead is still something.

I hate my delusions.

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What’s a NDE? 15

near death experience from marijuana and other stuff. I blacked out and experienced heaven and the pearly white gates and everything and then my soul or consciousness went back into my body afterwards. I lost contact with reality. Then I started thinking I was in the matrix and went through a wormhole and ■■■■.

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I smoked salvia high potency strain (a lot); 3 grams of skunk weed (high potency, high schizophrenia risk…); monster drinks; alcohol; and an unknown substance I bought online that sounded synthethic or like natural like put you in a dream type stuff. That was in 2011. I never recovered from going into that dream world.

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I think I died back in 2018 when I had what they said was a panic attack but I’m sure it was actually a heart attack and I died, and in the afterlife they told me it was a panic attack, demons trying to keep me asleep, like the people that want me to take medications

I never figured out what happened to me. I have ‘nightmares’ of being sexually assualted but it could be not real so to speak…like trauma type stuff…I have missing time. I was walking around like a zombie and stuff for at least 8 hours and don’t remember anything at all. I still don’t. Maybe I have some amnesia or memory loss and then try to fill in the gaps with false memories. But when I dream or die, I time travel and reincarnate into a parallel universe. Been dealing with this for too long.

It’s like many world’s theory (QM) immortality but I go backwards in time to 2013 or something and reset and live in a matrix.

I also have nightmares of being kidnapped but maybe it’s another parallel universe. I still have concerns about talking.

Like my consciousness survives after death which is weird. I may be a mutant or something…

Cant speak for others really.

I noticed this since high school and that I can time travel naturally through time but then aliens and illuminati (catch all term/phrase) know about it.

I don’t really want to talk about it…

Sometimes I think I died and came back alive like in “Russian Doll” Netflix Movie (only seen 1 trailer) where I died, and somehow resurrected back in time the same day. This has been going on trillions or more times and finally I woke up in 2013 but dissociated and schizophrenic.

I think the aliens took my consciousness or sentience away and modified time and reality. I feel like they are helping or protecting me.

It’s like immortal time traveler or vampire curse where instead of reincarnating into the future, I loop back in time but I ended up schizophrenic every time. It could be useful for inventing things, but that’s about it. It’s a form of immortality. Feels like Westworld, really.

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Reminded me of the movie groundhogs day kind of

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my biggest goal and dream is to go back to my childhood and live a better life, but it’s impossible.

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I’ve been sent by God to reexperience my life from 2018 on and find a way to stop the end of time.

I had to awaken first… that was my first step. I’m there now.

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