I'm beginning to wonder if my schizophrenia is the full story

I’m stable with negative symptoms.

But I don’t know if negative symptoms alone can explain the way I feel. Or to be more precise, my lack of feelings.

Normal life makes no sense to me. I have no desire to do anything normal people do.

The closest I came to trying an antidepressant was a supplement called 5-htp. It did make me more optimistic but that was about it.

It’s like my “heart” is missing and my head has taken over the job. That’s the best way I can explain it.


I think of schizophrenia as a segment to my journey or path to recovery. Each step or choice is one aspect of the recovery. In the Buddhist mindset, its ok to be in a tranquil meditative state. Some emotions are toxic, and can overwhelm the self. Love itself has no chemical equation, but if you are feeling or thinking this then there could be a reason and there are things you could work on to improve it…for me this is just small steps or pushing forward despite whatever setbacks are perceived. I am Grounded, but who am I really the real me? I have struggled to define who I am so I will say I am a collection of all these events and perceptions…maybe it would help you to expand your horizons, to not be afraid to step outside the box some, and Selenium plus L-Methylfolate help with mood regulation balancing the thyriod too. I have never been diagnosed with an issue with the thyroid, however Selenium is doing wonders for me so I would recommend you try this at least once.

I cant take anti-depressants. Each time it makes me either depressed or feel weird–I used to have depression. So when you are in that you have to push forward each day, or learn to see something beautiful in something small to get you through—it does pass–even if you feel like it wont and sometimes it does take a change of pace or environment, or diet and lifestyle…I have never taken 5-Htp.

I want to take sarcosine and see if it works. Im starting my weight loss too, there’s no failure for trying even if you try and aren’t as successful its better to say I tried and improved but I wasnt fully satisfied…I am satisfied I at least tried and got the job I wanted, and I am happy I went for it and went to college despite my dad has been saying college is not right for me and saying the job I wanted will just burn me out…he is actively discouraging me because he thinks I cant do this, and this is a really hard thing to overcome when your parents have been so successful but wont offer substantial encouragement to reach the best life possible or aim for the highest possible outcomes…

I dont give up, and I regret ever letting people convince me of being less than i am or weak.


Yeah, lack of emotion is called the “flat effect”. It’s common among schizophrenics.

5-htp boosts serotonin so it acts as a mild natural anti-depressant.


My first appearance of what is now diagnosed as schizophrenia was mania. I couldn’t stop the racing thoughts. Is that more like bipolar though because I am seeking a referral to a new psychiatrist and I wonder …Im in the process of changing everything around pretty much…

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Numb, not neutral, washed out and diluted, cold steel inside where fires should burn with passions.

I think I understand.

One of my biggest joys is having a pet, something to take care of, and who will love me unconditionally. Every day they do something to make me smile, lights that spark inside that makes me smile and melt.

I’ve found it helps me with those feelings.

Wishing you good things dude. Stay safe.


Do you have any brain inflammation @everhopeful ?
I cleared mine with liposomal C in two days.

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No I don’t have brain inflammation…

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You’re passions could maybe be extracted OR reverse engineered or Learned from the girl you speak of… from time to time… (just don’t let your pendulum swing all the way). Nay… You never said it was an opposites attract thing, but was it ? Mine felt like that a lot…

I liked a girl, and I was too frugal and chased the first job offer… until that point I wanted to make movies, but I went for a summer job that paid though… I learned about paper jams and fluorescent lighting haha haha

Fast forward 4 years and I broke bread w said girl; she wore Bright green sneakers which said to me she must buy all the colors and be carefree and have shoes of ALL colors; I rocked the grey New Balance that go with everything.

(There’s even a meme somewhere making fun of that in me I saw after! Aaaahhhhh!!!)

So Present day… I like … to feel ‘pretty’, and I pay money and do a lot for my Goddaughter; she’s remarkable, and recognizes my packages I send to her.

Must remember not to get carried away for myself.

Most of this was ME in this post ; but my opening paragraph might have jogged something loose for you.

Lastly it’s good your over your girl; I am too!! Ahhhhhhhhhh sigh of relief!!!

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@everhopeful maybe it’s time to try an antidepressant. Maybe you can get back some feelings again. I highly recommend Cymbalta and Zoloft.


I am sorry to hear that Everhopeful that sounds difficult.

I do agree with @leafy perhaps try an antidepressant, have you ever tried one before?

I think quite a considerable number of those with sz are on an AD


Sorry to hear, but i agree with the others, i think you should consider an antidepressant. I mean - you have got nothing to loose, if it’s not working or you cant live with the sideeffects, you can just stop it.


Right I’m on Lexapro and have been since 2005…

I think it is a good one… in that you don’t get addicted to it like maybe a Zoloft? Though maybe I just don’t know enough about Zoloft


For me its negative symptoms. I used to makeup lots of other causes than negative symptoms to make me feel better but I never improved so its negative symptoms. My pdoc said I have negative symptoms, he made me try Wellbutrin and occupational therapy, they didnt help. At the end he said I just need to accept my negative symptoms and try to be happy.

I will be seeing a new pdoc 28 aug, I will ask about Strattera, Rexulti and Geodon, though I am sure 99% that they will either make me worse or wont work.

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The only thing that improved my negative symptoms, more than Abilify, is Ldopa (mucuna pruriens supplement) but it made me irritable and a bit more paranoid. Its similar to Ritalin and Adderall, it increases dopamine which is the opposite of what antipsychotics do lol Its proof that low dopamine is causing my negative symptoms both meds and sz, my pdoc is right by saying that negative symptoms can be caused by low dopamine.

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I have more than schizophrenia because I have PTSD from my childhood and the addictions package.

I thought the “split” in “schizophrenia” was that we have a partial break between thinking and feeling.

Ours seems to be the life of a mammal on Earth with a vibrational abnormality.


@everhopeful Do you have hobbies? I know you were an IT so maybe you can do something with computers or play video games? I play video games on my pc for about 1h most days.

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Nope. No hobbies really…

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I’ve just taken some now. It definitely helps a bit. I’d forgotten I had it.

Other than the 1hr playing video games I stay in bed all day, listening to music and vaping lol I like to order stuff online like food, groceries and electronics.

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It is possible that ads may make you even number. Thats how it made me feel but for me its a good thing

Im not sure what else there is but maybe an SNRI like effexor? But it is hard to come off of

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