I'm beginning to personafy the meta occurences going on in my life

So meta for example is the high level looking down on a situation, so when I look out from my perspective and try to think about my life from a further removed perspective I’ve begun to personify the occurrences that have brought me month to month, to have some sort of intent.

I’m an atheist I don’t believe in higher powers, so I think this might be a sign of the grandiose sense of self image coming back.

I can’t really increase my medications effectiveness so I’m thinking of going to therapy about it once I see it as safe and they can get me into see someone with all this corona crap going on.

I’m wary of these sort of bleed through things and hopeful that if I keep an eye on them I can avoid relapse but I don’t know how worried to be. Generally the last time I felt any sort of religious sentimentality I was close to having a psychotic break and then the break occured within a timeline of a few hours…but with this being me while medicated I’m concerned that I won’t know the signs before its already happened.

Its kinda bumming me out. I want to stay stable on this medication because it allows me to lose weight and I tolerate it well compared to others I’ve been on.

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