Schizophrenia.com

Im barely hanging on today

i tell myself, make it to 40 years old. im looking forward to being 40, but not much is picking up my mood today. don’t really want to go to colorado saturday, it’s not relaxing dealing with my little 6 year old nephew. he has so much energy and imagination i can’t keep up. so i think maybe i’ll just stay here and watch the houses. anyways, talked to my caseworker and told her i hadn’t been answering my phone or listening to my messages on my phone for a week or two. she had left me a message, last week to get back with her. it just seems like there is not much to look forward to. this new location is lonely and boring, my parents just live their lives, i spend time with them, but it’s kinda unsatisfying some times.

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I’m sorry you are feeling low today. Your post is a departure from what I’m used to seeing from you. Usually you seem pretty content…

I’m 42 and my forties have been better than my 30s or 20s. That’s all I got … but hopefully it’s uplifting for you!

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well yeah, Sylvia Plath hated it, pooping and pissing, eating, and sleeping all the time. There’s gotta be more.

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I hope you feel better soon

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I think you were really looking forward to Colorado. Maybe if you go, you will feel more connected to life again.

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I’ve just come out of a bad patch myself. Sorry you’re going through one right now. The bad patches don’t last.

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Who knows maybe the kid will have a positive effect but you would know better than me

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yeah it might, he actually amuses when he’s not wanting to play with me. he’s funny and imaginative. but he always chooses the youngest person to play with, and since his cousins aren’t coming, i fear he will want to make me the bad guy and be spiderman again and rough me up. which is his favorite thing to play with me. i hate it haha.

it’s actually a ski trip we are planning, mom is going to take the kids skiiing during the day, but i fear when we are in the condo at night, he will be full of energy. i should be more enthused to bond with him, but i don’t know if i can take it right now. it will only be 3 day trip and 4 days driving, im also not looking forward to all the driving, i find it difficult to be in a vehicle longer than 6 hours and we will do 12 hours of driving the first day, and 4 to 6 hours of driving the next day. and then do the same thing when we return. we always stop at a hotel in western kansas the first day of the drive, and usually we make it to missouri on the way back before stopping for the night.

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Think Of how nice it’s going to be in the summer.

You’ll be growing outside.

Things will improve.

It’s been overcast and 50*’s here for a long time. I know how it goes…

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In my experience, high intensity daytime activities lead to exhausted and sleepy kids in the evening. But you know him best. How old is he?

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he is 6 years old, turns 7 this summer.

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