Of just giving up and spending the rest of my life rotting in a personal care home useless to everyone.
Or figuring out how to get off my big fat ass and at least become somewhat useful.
I know the feeling of wanting to give up. You have to keep fighting though. It’s a tough disease but you have to be tougher than it.
@FatMama you really haven’t been sounding too well over the past several days. It sounds to me like you are heading towards a depressive crisis. The guilt, the self hatred, the hopelessness, the fatigue, the sense of uselessness, and on. Is your mood stabilizer at max dose? Is your clozapine at max dose? Maybe time for a med adjustment? I don’t want you to end up in the ER leaving in an ambulance or a body bag.
I am seeing my pdoc on Monday. Hoping he has some thoughts. I know he wants to do some switcheroo on a few meds. Mostly adding a bit more clozapine and a split dose of lithium. Nothing is quick in psychiatric meds.
Taking one day at a time and following my routine is how I get thru the day. Could I do more, it’s hard to say. I’ve basically become a hermit and I’m ok with that for now. I don’t like stress so I try to avoid it. But I do feel happy with where I am. Maybe try to set some long term goals and work towards those. I’m planning to move in 2 years, the ground work is being laid down now in order to do that
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