Schizophrenia.com

I'm afraid to tell

There are some things I prefer not to tell people because they paint me as a person with mental deficets. At least that’s what I would think I would think of myself based on their reactions if I told them. I suppose silence is the key, even though it hurts to keep it to myself and no therapist wants to talk about it when I bring it up. So I suppose this is my confession, my silent confession, that there are things I won’t talk about, even though I’d like to.

I remember when I was about 20 years old I started hanging with sober junkies from NA and AA. I often had things I want to say but a throbbing voice in my dome would consistently tell me “Don’t Talk” . It commanded it loud until I stopped venting my thoughts with them. Being quiet I learned to listen and found my friends were speaking profound recovery topics. I needed to listen

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I appreciate your shares here but remember… a Wiseman once said… nothing. But I’m curious what’s on your mind too :smile:

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And then at other times I had to vent too tho. And i found getting spooky things off my chest was amazingly freeing. So the value of having others you can be open with is the best bet.

I thought I was the only one who had gay type instances in my dreams… and I felt like a freak until I vented it with a few guys and they shared some stuff they dreamt or even experienced and I felt so relieved I wasn’t gay.
I’m not even judgmental about such now but I didn’t like the idea of gay stuff… it grossed me out and I thought I was sick in God’s eyes.

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Yeah my Dad is like that with all the hating on gay stuff so I don’t even really know what to think about it because what he says kinda polutes my brain with all the hate.

Yea. Hate isn’t worth investing time into. I picked a fight with a gay guy and he offered me food in return. A truly soulful gesture. I no longer care what people do in their privacy… I still find it gross to see guys kiss in public but I don’t bash anymore

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