I was always sick still I remember. iwas rejected from others, probably I was different since child. I was feeling guilt and shame still little( because of the photos for example)… my ex’s father was schizophrenic since child. his mom married him besides that. but he became sicker in his 30s and his mother dropped him… iwas really sad today even besides the fact that I went out. I have this intellectual degradation, I am sexually ‘‘afraid’’. my mom says that men like to watch them in the eyes. to throw some ''special ‘’ looks and I never had that.
probably fate…
if you wallow in this illness…you will never recover.
if you get up of your arse and fight this illness…you will find strengths and courage you never knew existed.
take care 
Are meds for you thats the question? They obviously are not theraputic for you. People around you say you do not need them, if they are not working properly maybe its worth a try off. You said you been taking them 15 years maybe its time to try some time off. I wish the best for you, what are your symptoms.