If you could flip a switch and make your sz disappear would you do it?

I remember watching a documentary by Stephen fry on bipolar depression. He talked with lots of people with that condition and one of the questions he always asked them was:

if you could flip a switch and make your bp go away for good would you do it?

Interestingly a lot of those individuals said they wouldn’t want things to change. This made me think - would this be the same for sz?

Personally I don’t know. Sure the bad times before I found good meds were awful and would happily like to write them out of the history books. The years on the ward etc. but I also quite like my brain sometimes.

I mean the crazy thoughts that come with sz can be “engaging”, even entertaining. The voices can sometimes be funny or insightful. The ability to share your thinking with intrusive, yet revealing ideas can occasionally be life affirming. I mean after years of living with sz I have a really good grasp of what really matters to me most in this world. I understand my motivations really well.

That being said this illness can be fickle - a fair weather friend that likes to kick your ass from time to time.

i would want it to disappear, put me though a lot of tough times and is still is putting me through a lot, miss the old me, my own brain, my own body

I’ve received a few different diagnoses since the onset of my psychotic symptoms, but most of the professionals I’ve seen seem to agree that I have some sort of affective psychosis – an affective psychosis that I would most certainly like to see disappear if I could get it to. To the extent that I’m able to engage in life these days, I’d say that a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’ve made gains against my illness, even if a lot of those gains have been temporary. When I’m not receiving treatment for my illness, my sleep is extremely unpredictable, I can barely read anything, I tend toward being quite irritable, I have trouble understanding anything that’s the least bit complex, I pace around much of the time, and I experience various hallucinatory phenomena. And as a result, I’m far from the person I’d like to be. Heck, even when I’m receiving what passes for treatment at this time, things aren’t so much better for me much of the time. But my point is that to the extent that my life is anything like what I’d like for it to be, it’s despite my illness, and not at all because of it. For this reason, I would flip that proverbial switch to cause my illness to disappear in a heartbeat.

Of course I want it gone. The only good thing about it was realizing my faults and repenting of it to God. But I wonder if those particular sins I would have even of had if it weren’t for the schizophrenia.

I used to think God was testing me, but after the hunderedth time i wanted to tell him that i understand

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yes.
take care :alien:

I don’t like anything about my schizophrenia. I never have. I would flip that switch faster than you can say, “flip that switch”.

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I’d flip the switch without thinking twice. I miss my old creative and productive self.

Yes ASAP. too many :pill: and side effects

I shouldn’t blame my sins on schizophrenia. I shouldn’t have done them regardless, and they were wrong.

Yes for sure , I stand ready, waiting for that cure , then I can get back to doing what I do best.

A definite yes!

Yes definitely and start my life all over