If i don't get a chance, goodbye world

Lounge
#1

born, priest said to my mother

this is a perfect baby

she should have been concerned from the beginning but wasn’t

club foot, braces, I’m not walking with these

kindergarten half days hated it, more concerned about walking down the alley
with the junior high guys smoking

1st grade we want to hold her back

2nd grade laughing too much, getting in trouble

my mother left my father from Texas with us with nothing but the clothes on our backs

living anywhere

mostly apartments or the farm or a shack with mice and no heat

going to Catholic school

bullied out of it later

back to public school, Why are you here? What happened over there?

I just wanted to

cheerleader athlete in love with one guy for 6 years who blew me off
would have no other but him

poetry in college, my own schizophrenia developing, I’m sorry

Dave and good sex late bloomer, beer and cigarettes and working anywhere

dropped out

pregnant, had my kids cesearen, shaking like a leaf

two disabilities surgeries

moved both of them back to Iowa City to finish my degree

never got good jobs, struggled, single, kid’s dad gone

moved back home to get help from my family

I won’t watch your kids unless you pay me

all kinds of centers and child care

finally got on the waiver

I think I can work now

worked and worked, wrote, ran races, danced
going everywhere with the kids, so much fun

got my house lost my jobs

disability struggling got Deoge

bad head pain electronic crippling

drinking

then not

good solid job, volunteering at many places

bullied out of it over my mental illness

never the same

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#2

anyway, thanks for letting me be myself

everyone everywhere when it worked out

#3

I’m so sorry. Something like your life happened to me too. I also was suicidal for years over it. Please don’t kill yourself. Things change over time, if you give yourself the time. Things WILL get better. Believe it. Try praying every day. And meditation every day. You will come out of your depression. I will pray for you too. Peace to you, and God bless.

#4

that was very nice thanks

not exactly suicidal, but have many cursers against me

God bless you too

#5

Catholic priest sex abuse 3 places in my area

while I was religious reading at Mass

on bad days I think it’s all because of me

#6

I’m so sorry. 15 characters.

#7

ha, what?

not at all, honey.

Don’t take it that way.

#8

Hey @Daze sorry things have been so rough for you. You expressed it well in your writing. I used to post on the old site and remember enjoying your writing there. (I was Dook back then.) Hope you find some relief and feel better soon. Take care.

#9

when were you religious I think I remember you

not many are on here

always or recent

despite everything we had religion

so did my kids

I was just telling Phil today
if I committed crime

can’t even live with myself now
would never do that to my heart

#10

Always, but in the last few years I have come to rely on it more. Life is a struggle for sure. You’re in my prayers, @Daze.

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