I’m under the ‘spectacle delusion’ again. The creative side of my brain is telling me it’s all real, while the logical side is telling me that it’s all false…that nothing is going on.
It’s a battle in my head, but hopefully the logic will pull me through all of this. I’m slowly snapping out of it.
Thanks to all of you for putting up with me over these past few weeks. 
Hmm…I am having a similar problem.
We are all rooting for you to get better! How are you doing now? Is your wife back home yet?
Hang in there buddy. Hope you sort it all out and get back on track.
I prefer cash. But good luck to you.
No problem dude. Sorta been there myself about a year ago. Hang in there.
Thanks all!
@Ninjastar, My wife has been given a day pass for tonight and tomorrow. She’s on the mend! YAY!
IT"S ALL GOOD MY HOMBRE
completing my sentence
Just want to make sure you get healthy and as happy as possible!
That’s so wonderful to hear!
And I just want to say, as someone who has been around for a few of your episodes, I think you’ve been holding yourself together quite remarkably this time around.
It’s the strangest thing, my 'spectacle delusion/
I feel my car is wire tapped and the Media knows everywhere I’m going. So to prove to the World that I’m not an ■■■■■■■ anymore like I used to be, I’m doing random acts of kindness all over the city.
For children- I dropped off a music CD at a place called Universal Daycare
For the mentally ill- I dropped off a touch lamp to light their way
For all of the poor- I donated a colouring book to the Salvation Army Thrift Store. To include all races and colours.
And for the whole world- I dropped off a SoftSoap called Pure Zen at a place called Imagine Cinemas. (Lennon wrote Imagine, and Zen means ‘at peace with the world’ to my mind anyways)
I’m reading both positive and negative meanings into the signs on trucks and vans. A truck passed me on the road, and the decal said ‘Gasman’. I burst out laughing! Another one drove by with a ‘Summit’ decal. I liked that one. Another read ‘Sewermatic’ which I believe is making fun of me. I’ve read hundreds of meanings into billboards, license plates, the names of cars, computer, TV, radio. I believe some of the radio stations
are encouraging me, but also that some are mocking me with their songlists.
Again, I feel half the World likes me, and half the world hates me.
Welcome to the crazy life of yours truly!
Those seem like fairly harmless things to do, even if some of them are a bit odd. Just make sure to watch your spending. When I am psychotic, I can spend thousands of dollars in a matter of hours.
I also drove to the United Church to show the World we are One.
Then I parked at a Gas Station and marveled at all of the creative signs the traffic was giving me.
Then I parked at a bar called The Lone Star and again my mind was blown away by all of the creative messages the vehicles were sending to me. Lots were supportive, but some were making fun of me.
Have you gotten to see your doctor yet?
Yes. He’s given me some sleep meds and bumped up our next appointment.
I think a Radio Station in town called Magic 100 wants me to come down to their station. Half of my brain thinks this…the other half says this is all nuts and isn’t happening.
The logical side of my brain is coming back, but the creative side is a real force in my head.
Maybe consider using your creative side to write a song for your wife and/or daughters? That might help focus your creative side away from reading signs into things.
I’m not allowed to become famous. I’ve hurt too many people with my past words.
But I am a different person now…a late bloomer in this life.
@PatrickT - How is your evening going?
