I wish I were dead. Does it matter?

Life goes on. The same chores have to be done. The same feelings go on. I don’t know what I want. What do you want that makes life worth living?

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Just realize its The littlest things… Like take a bicykle trip… Drink some wine… Shower… Travel… Read… Paint… Having a good friend that you can talk with…sleep…

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You dont have to achieve big stuff…

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Sorry you feel that way.

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To feel better.

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You’re a valued member here @PinCushion I hope you find happiness.

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I feel like that sometimes. No use dwelling on it, it will come soon enough.

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Hope, I think if you stick it out, you will find it. No pun intended lol

Money to retire would do it for me, have to work till I just can’t anymore

I know that I enjoy gaming and if I don’t enjoy playing as much I still enjoy seeing people play games and enjoy themselves on twitch. Gaming has become a more intellectually stimulating thing for me where I support the industry and genre’s through crowd funded efforts and generally just having good taste and telling devs what I think about games.

I know its not much of an accomplishment but having a company that did a good kickstarter and being part of that process as a backer and cheering on their success has been very uplifting for me. Even if I don’t have the energy to grind and hack n slash as I used to, I still get to contribute to the thing that helped me through so many hard times and kick it forward for the next generation of gamers.

I fought to keep my passion for gaming going even when I didn’t want to do anything or really care about anything. Try to find something you found meaningful to yourself personally and try and contribute to that in some way meaningfully even if it isn’t much.

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What has helped me is turning to the people who are close to me and they did what they could to help me. When I am down I just need to do something, almost anything, to pass the time. For example, sitting in a mentally ill club house and just sitting and listening to music. Or going to the mall or walking with a friend in a park. For me, after a while, the depression lessened.

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Time with my husband and daughter. They’re worth being alive for. Do you really wish you were dead?

Connection.

Soothing.

Relief.

Sometimes, I do. I miss my mother.

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The living are privileged because we have wants.

Feel you. I was in the same place after my relapse in a flat mood. Even today I look at death as a being released from one of the worst illness. Finding a job is a good start, maybe what you need is a feeling being needed or useful, like a purpose. I work as a barista and even “thank you” from a customer makes my day

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Post psychotic depression hit me like a truck a couple years ago. Glad you feel better

I think I had the same after my manic episode. Even though I was fully treated with APs, but the hospital forgot to continue my escitalopram and then after the hospital depression hit with my remnant psychotic details and I remember asking my mother to help me to kill myself.

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I asked my mom to let me die when I started to refuse food and water. I was very psychotic then though.

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Are you on any ADs? When I was hospitalized for depression they put me on TCAs which were horrible to the extent that my genitals shrank and I couldn’t pee, but I was feeling like on mdma/ecstasy