I wish I wasn't disabled

I wish I wasn’t disabled, but no amount of positive thinking or radically alternative ways of looking at things is going to make that come true. ASD is not my superpower. Schizophrenia/schizoaffective is not a ‘spiritual awakening’ that will lead to my existing on a higher plane. Without the support I get I’d struggle to maintain even the moderately healthy but rather basic level of independent living I have now.


I used to believe too that my sz was a spiritual awakening. Couldn’t be more wrong.

I guess most people don’t like being disabled but I have reconciled with that.


Yeah that spiritual awakening stuff stuck around also long in my head.


For me, schizophrenia just means feeling vulnerable all the time. A lot of the time, I think would I be able to cope if my circumstances changed etc.

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I just had that conversation with the NHS and asked them what the hell are they going to do now

ASD helps me work with data, but the crippled social existence has plagued me pretty much my whole life, and has created a lot of misery for me and my family

It upsets me, and for about 3 months after they diagnosed me with it I was left to find out about it on my own with no support as the NHS just diagnose and provide no after support

When I had my first episode, this was what I thought had happened to me. After the second episode it was just as bad, and it took another 2 years after the SZ Dx for me to take it seriously as a defect

i also rely heavily on others. But they can’t do everything for me and it’s embarrassing that I can’t clean my flat or myself reliably anymore

Things have really gone down hill again since they started messing with my medication


I rely on lots of support to live independently. Without the support I would be on hospital long term.

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Sz is like an awakening to me,

saying to self even there is a possibility of this issue,

I always thanked for a wonderful life,

but after sz I doubted if i need to be thankful,

but yes, if we consider the universe life span we are not even living in nano second,

So we could embrace being content :relieved:

no matter whats the circumstances. Imo.

I have a cleaning lady too.
My mom has one too, simply because she can afford it.
It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. @Joker

I used to have someone come in , but she also did cleaning at a school.There was a case of COVID at the school so my (s) daughter stopped her from coming to clean. My granddaughters do it now. I pay them for doing it…


The staff in the group home encourage us to clean but they mostly clean the house themselves and help us with our laundry.

I rely on others sometimes to wake up etc It Doesnt feel good.

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