I wish I was dead :(

I don’t know how to be happy. I am so tired from the hatred, OCD. I want to move on. I think the only way for me to be happy is to be on high doses of tranquilizers. I need to be high in order to be in a normal stable mood. I am so tired and hurt.

I just took L Theanine again. Wish I can just be normal for once.

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Please don’t hurt yourself @mermaid1 you are important to the world and to us !! I hope you tell your pdoc about what you are experiencing…maybe a tweek of meds could fix it !!

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It seems to be that time of year everyone is having these thoughts. Just know, it’ll pass. Everything will improve.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this , haven’t heard this from you before.

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stay alive friend

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I am simply exhausted!!! from life altogether and people and myself and this world altogether.

can you take a break today?

break from what? I am always on a break. My mind does not stop at all. It is some sort of dysfunction

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I can relate to the exhaustion. I don’t wanna die tho. Sometimes I don’t wanna live but don’t wanna die. Like I wish I could hibernate for 6 months. I choose life tho. You will too :pray:

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Is it possible your last med change didn’t work? I don’t remember you being like this before.

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Nothing has worked for more than 2 years now. Some days it is slightly better but most days I am exhausted. I only try to be happy and struggle with it but deep down I am sick of it. This thought dysfunction has ruined my life, my relationship with everyone and I just wish it would end. The intrusive thoughts have no beginning or end. I was not any better on Abilify.

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I am starting to wonder if this is what life is? a constant struggle? I have not seen or had any other experience I remember.

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You said L-theanine helped. Try 300mg. You might have to put up with a hangover though. But it’s better than what you’re goung through.

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Life is a beautiful struggle -talib kweli

Gotta see the beauty in it!

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I am thinking of going to the ER tonight

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I took 300 L Theanine

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Please talk to your doctor. I know it’s not ideal and you are tired, but it might make difference. Remember the days when you were happy, the right medication and therapy might be able to bring you back to that sweet spot again.

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I do not remember it. Once I was happy because of a dysfunction during psychosis.
I hope this ltheanine works

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@mermaid1 Remember that depression and exhaustion and feeling bad comprise an ILLNESS, i.e. there is something clinically wrong with your body causing you to feel this way. That is good because it means there is a CURE for how you feel. You just need to find it! Think outside the box! Everyone’s cure is different. Read lots of articles about all kinds of topics to get ideas. Close your eyes and go on mental voyages. Give everything that might help you a try. Etc. Good luck and can’t wait until you’re feeling better!

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Sometimes I take tranquilizer so that my mind can relax and go to sleep.

Can you hear the inner voice? (I am not talking about auditory voice, but inner voice from the heart) Whenever I pay attention to it, my mind is fully immersed. It is like you can stop using the mind for 30 seconds.

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Hey, I also suffer from my symptoms but I know that better days will come, sooner or later. Understand your value and take all the support you can. Hopefully you’ll feel better already tomorrow, but yah - take it easy, try to chill and rise up again.

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