I was never supposed to be an adult

Just an unusual belief I have… hence why it’s here.

I’m just sat in my room drinking laxative solutions hoping it will make me pass out so I can get some peace from my mind. Doing harmful ■■■■ to my body trying to make myself into someone i’ll never be. Maybe because I’m not supposed to be.

Just a thought.

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Stop. Drinking. Laxatives.

Come on, @Jesspresso!

You’re not so psychotic that you don’t know what you’re doing,

Put that stuff down and do some writing.

I feel like you could benefit from some short term goal setting.

Do you have a journal?

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I think you’re screaming for attention you desperately need, but I’m worried we can’t provide what you need enough on this forum. You need to reach out to a counselor or pdoc or case manager

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I didn’t yet consider myself an adult when I was your age. Damn society forcing kids to grow up too quick these days!! My therapist complimented me for not trying to grow up too quick. It’s an admirable trait imo. There’s a difference between being not dependent and trying to grow up too fast imo too… all these kids think they’re adults but they’re not. This is something I have gripe with. Keep your ego young.

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Laxatives are not the right drug to get you to pass out. You’re exhibiting very confused thinking. I spent decades drinking, self medicating with that. There’s no telling what kind of damage I did to my liver mixing alcohol with psychotropic drugs. I’m finally starting to realize that since alcohol is a depressant it will hurt, not help, my depression. You can get away with abusing substances for a while, but it catches up with you. I see you putting your life on a very dangerous trajectory. Take care that you don’t end up my age with little to show for your life.

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@Jesspresso you need to go to the hospital if you’re hurting yourself. Do you have anyone who can take you? If not, call emergency services. You shouldn’t be alone right now.

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My parents would get mad at me and they’re sleeping.
I hate how I feel and I hate myself so much right now. I hate my placebo SSRIs and my fake mental health team who are probably just con artists doing role play. I hate everything . Even the hospital.
I’m so upset and angry for no reason, I hate myself so much.

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I’m unloveable and everyone hates me. Look at the state of me. I hate myself so much ■■■■■■■ hell

At the age of 29 I feel like an adult but very unprepared for adulthood.

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You just had a baby and your hormones are probably acting up. Give yourself a break and talk to a psychiatrist about how you are feeling in this moment. He can prescribe the proper meds to get you through this funk.

Don’t self-harm…you know you’re better than that.

I haven’t had a baby, I think you’ve got me muddled up with someone else.

But I’m feeling okay now. I was waiting upon some angels that didn’t turn up so I guess I got worked up for no reason.

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When I’m feeling weak and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I’ll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh through my bones
And when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

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I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate?

I don’t know what came over me. Just a bunch of stuff.
But I should probably start writing in my journal again . It’s been a month since I last wrote in it I think.

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I always felt that too. I remember at 13 having this powerful feeling that I wasn’t supposed to be alive…it was very confusing…now that I am 22 I have realized I’m here to stay for some time I guess unless something weird happens.

I don’t recommend drinking laxatives unless you wanna poop a lot. The best way to distract the mind is with activity. Go take a walk…play a videogame…read an engaging book…call a friend and just talk about random things. Being engaged in “typical” things always helps my brain reset.

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Journaling might help. Write down what you feel, put it away for a while, and then come back and look at it later.

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You can decide your date right now. Take care of yourself and go to the hospital if you feel like harming yourself. You can contact a counselor, case worker, or psychiatrist for help too.

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Oops! Sorry @Jesspresso

I thought you had a baby. I was confusing you with Spiderpig.

Here’s a little joke to cheer you up-

Q: What do you call a sad coffee?

A: Depresso

:wink:

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That’s (bullshit) and just because it seems that way doesn’t mean that’s how people actually feel. They might love you more than you think or they know how to show. Even if you’re in a sad state I’m sure there are probably like 20-50 people trying to get your attention at all hours of the day. I would be too.

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