I was given a choice

I was given a choice. Whether I take those pills or I go to the hospital. I’m so confused. I don’t want to do. Go to the hospital, have those injections and all that… But the medicine looks like poison for me. Please, I need help with this. Maybe I should run away?! No one will ever find me.

I was given a choice by my parents, they noticed that I’m not on medication anymore. This morning, it’s 12:45 pm here. I don’t now how but they did, they did notice. So they said they will call ambulance If I don’t take those pills.

This forum is the only place where I can get understanding, so I’m asking you for help! Please!

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Usually you have to put others or yourself in danger before they make these decisions. What did you do to have your condition taken this seriously?

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They said, I’m very psychotic. But I’m not, I know this

Am I?

It is one feature of psychosis that a person can be unaware of being in psychosis… this is really difficult to wrap your head around, and it is an amazing achievement if the person comes to realize it might be psychosis after all. One of the greatest achievements there are I think. I have deep admiration for anyone having come to this conclusion.

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Are you trying to say that I’m psychotic at the moment?

Would you have a problem with that?

Sorry, I don’t understand you?

Sorry, I wasn’t very clear. I think you are indeed. But it doesn’t matter too much what I think now… If someone is psychotic and unaware, others’ opinions barely matter. It was like that when I was psychotic. The change in point of view, for me, had to come from within. This is the most difficult thing I ever experienced. It also made me very proud once I succeeded, and others are so of me as well. Again, if you can manage to pull off this turnaround in point of view, that demands the utmost respect.

I walked around outside for several months one time because living with my parents meant that I would have to take Haldol. I walked around in Norman, OK, then Oklahoma City, then Stillwater, then Tulsa, and then Muskogee. It wasn’t a bad time for me, but then I got paranoid and started acted strange, and the police took me to the hospital. They put me on Zyprexa rather than Haldol, and that was much better. There is a number of different medications you can take, so if one medication doesn’t agree with you another one might be a better fit. Right now I am on Geodon and Seroquel, and I feel fine, though I’ve heard several people say that Seroquel is too sedating for them. It isn’t that way for me.

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I’m confused, I really am indeed. I’m not noticing anything what others are. I don’t know. It’s so complicated. A guy just called me or made me understand that I’m psychotic, I don’t feel that. I’m just in the middle of two options and both of them scare me as HELL. I thought I would get some answers…

Just take the medication

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Yesterday I was so happy, I was smiling, I felt like I knew all the answers in the world, and today seems like something has changed, totally changed. I’m looking for answers and I can’t find them. It makes me nervous and confused and many more…

I’m in the middle of NOWHERE !!!

These are very distressing times for you… I know the feeling of having the two options before your mind, and it seems like there is no basis on which one is to be favored above the other for you. Only an endless uncertainty about what to think and what to do… Perhaps now is a good time to talk to someone in person about your worries, someone who you know cares about you, like your parents. All I can tell you is that it was like this for me too. It took for me a leap of faith, to think of myself as psychotic. It was a big relief. I was troubled by people watching me etc. and I felt I no longer needed to be afraid of that because it was just psychosis. It is not that bad, and things will get better from then on.

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Thank you for understanding

Wha so ever. I was waiting but apparently it’s pointless.