I made sure they were fed and had a nice place to live and had clean, new cloths. They had enriching activities away from the home and lots of educational activities in the home. I told them I loved them all the time but I was so checked out mentally, so stressed trying to get everything done. Then when they got older I got so sick I isolated. It was like I abandoned them. Oh, I know it’s not my fault, but it’s not their fault either, poor things. I would change so many things if I could.
Sounds like a good mom to me!
My mom was like that. Physically, we were clean, clothed and fed. But she was emotionally unavailable I know she couldn’t help it, too. It was all she knew from the way she was raised. At least her ways gave me longevity - so I have a lot of time to forgive her for her weaknesses.
I had a bad mom so I know what they look like. I also know what good moms look like because of this. My childhood would have been so much better with you in it @Leaf.
p.s. You’re aware of my bluntness by now. If I thought you were a crap parent you know I would say exactly that. I really mean it when I’m complimenting you. And, uh, your ankles.
From what I read you’re a great mum.
It’s important to isolate sometimes cos if you don’t it could worsen the situation.
Uh. first, thank you for the kindness. Second, thank you for the perspective. I’ve read enough tidbits about your childhood to know you had a bad mom. I would like to change my statement to “I wasn’t the best mom”. I didn’t stop to think about all the horribly bad moms out there. I just see so many missed opportunities to teach them and nurture them and arm them.
Thank you Canuky.
@LittleMissSlothy you know that’s true. Thanks
My mom also. I think I did a little better at showing love, but still not enough apparently.
Imma point out that you were the best mom you could be in the place and time you were in. That still gets you an A+.
I think tonight I’m going to bite your ankle
I’m a terrible mom. I hope one day my kids will forgive me.
Why is the well being of children always placed on women.
So messed up. My mom tried her best to provide for 4 kids as a single parent. Worked 3 jobs. Went to jail because they accused her of welfare fraud. We had to grow up on our own.
I think women should not be so hard on themselves. What about the men. Why don’t they ever question themselves.
Not you too.
Your kids are prolly gonna tell stories about how amazing you were.
Do I need to come over and bite some ankles?!?
Because I will.
I did constantly. Still do sometimes. I’m just old enough and have enough perspective now to know that while I wasn’t the best dad, I also certainly wasn’t the worst.
You don’t have to be perfect or the best. The fact that you care is enough.
I have checked out, too. I miss me, but I don’t know where I went. I think I am a bad mom. I was too strict on my oldest, not there for my youngest. My son, middle, got a weird combination of both.
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