I wanted to hurt my hallucinations

So yesterday I was really psychotic and since I have hallucinations all day. I got in an argument with them and wanted to hurt them, even kill them, feeling that I didn’t deserve to be treated they way they treat me, since they say pretty awful stuff like: to order me to kill my family and that they want to rape me (one of them, a man that I’ve heard his voice for 13 years).
All that happened and I had already taken 30mg Valium and 150mg seroquel a few hours before, so I was really going nuts. I was also feeling like killing myself and self harm. Luckily for me I didn’t try to commit suicide and didn’t self harm but ended spending most of the night in a bad shape. Today I feel like I’m kinda numb and I don’t know what to expect now of me and my future because I’m the person that always says the hallucinations don’t exist and that can always rationalize most of the time. Has any of this happened to you? I want to hear your experiences.

I can endure the insults of Louisa.
I am grateful for the voice of Annette and Isidore who supports me

That’s about as effective as getting mad at the wind for blowing and trying to punch it. Just ignore the hallucinations. Getting upset over them is a waste of energy that is better directed elsewhere in your recovery.

My voices like to make fun of me, but I try to ignore as much as I can…
Sometimes when I’m in bed or in the shower(when it usually gets worst) I try to make them see that what they say is nonsense.
I can only do this cuz my meds work on me and I can be quiet whenever I want. Before I took the meds and when the dose wasn’t enough I couldn’t make them realize that they were cruel all the time…:confused:

I’ve wanted to harm my hallucinations on numerous occasions in the past. I would cuss them out, try to repeat what they say to them, and repeat something to annoy them. At one point when they talked about my dreams I went after them in them. However I don’t do that any more because I know that even if they are real they are everywhere, I can’t win, and little to nothing discussed in my mind becomes reality anyway.

I’ve been there, so blindly angry at these “people” and their flood of unwanted speech. I tell them to shut up often and that does no good, of course.

I’ll never understand how a disease makes these hallucinations seem real. How does it speak? Is it reading my subconscious? I’m not the person saying it, but it’s my brain. If it’s busted shouldn’t the visions and voices be totally random and incoherent? Why are they so coherent… :frowning:

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