If I got paid for my words I’d be rich. Right now I cant even seem to log into certain email accounts. I am punished when I try too hard.
But truth be told. I worked at Macys for 3 weeks. Macys warehouse. November, temp season, thousands of cars because it was the only job and it hired anyone and didnt drug test. I did night shift. One night I had a melt down. Not bad. Just I burst into tears because I was trying so hard to hide the illness. Sure, in my mind I can work. And I put all efforts into it–then I get there and break. Mcdonalds, one week not even. Fired and told I should try something else than Fast Food Industry. Tried so so hard.
But wasnt fast enough I guess. Everyone liked my breakfast sandwhiches, actually someone ordered like 12 because I made them extra large with extra cheese. Still, fired. And then they sent the tax document across state lines to MD somehow to screw me out of unemployment I assume. didnt even know what unemployment was and was paid 9 dollars an hour without vacations or excuses.
Yep. hows that for 1 work credit to not qualify for SSDI. So now I have to prove that I was diagnosed when I was fiftteen or sixteen. So I may try that route. Hopefully it works out to benefits and something of a better state for us all.
I hope this works. It would be great if it does. Are you getting a disability attorney? You don’t have to pay unless you win, and even then you only pay a percentage of your backpay
I was a member of the fountain house clubhouse in NYC. They were really helpful to me and inspired me to self-advocate more. Someone there told me I should consider that I am deserving of these entitlements because a disability is a limitation and not be punished just because I put in effort to ovecome them. I emailed my advisor from there and asked if I can still be a member if long-distance. I couldnt handle being in the city, but I hope one day I can again or at least visit. My brother convinced me to move there with him because he thought it would provide better support, and thats why I went there and they did. Thats why I think WV is really a hard place to rise from.
I think you need to be active in a clubhouse for it to help. But that’s ok. Tell the lawyer you used to be a member but that you can’t handle it anymore. That’ll help you too
ok, im not too worried about it. I have people who are going to manage things. I know this is somewhat idealistic, but I am hopeful that if I do get either SSI or SSDI that I can still be able to be productive in society. I dont see a purpose in SSI or SSDI as safety nets if they dont add to the quality of life or advance people out of poverty. First I have to have a stable environment, afford food, clothes, and access to mobility. Second, I need to win the case and have some income to pay off some small debt that incurred due to the cuts/being cut off, and then I want to finish education and become a patient advocate and peer mentor.
Thats an ideal. Long-term goal I want to achiever. Its an aspiration whether or not I can achieve it. I aspire to do the things I love when I can, and when Im ill I cant. I have a major break 3 times a year, but I want them to become less severe. I really pray and pray and hope that schizophrenia wont overcome me.
I know. But at the same time not really. Im having emotional roller coasters right now. Trying not to focus on it, drawing attention away from that. Im really happy things are getting better for people, the best thing I can do is make space or hold space for others and work toward my own goals.