So sorry for your loss @cbbrown
So sorry for your loss. He was way too young. I second the vote that you should go to the funeral if at all possible. I imagine he would want you there. I know I want my kids at mine.
So sorry for your loss. I would go anyways if you can find a way to get there. I missed a lot of family funerals and I regret it, though I couldn’t afford to travel across the country at the time. My brother is a jerk too, he really takes advantage of my parents kindness. I would just ignore him as he sounds ignorant.