Is the hookup bottom center or bottom right? Also which nob do we turn for maximum pressure? Asking for a friend 
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Does “your friend” like turtles and heavy metal by any chance?
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the person I lost my virginity to—his number randomly appeared on my cellphone today–havent seen him in like 10 years–but we ran into each other --facetimed—I think he’s married not sure…he wanted me to visit him a few years ago–never did—hmmmm…
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Gee, I wonder what he wanted? 
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Yeah he is quite fond of both turtles and also heavy metal 
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The other week i got a text from some number that said “do you still exist?” So i asked 'whos asking?" Then they replied “its kayla”. I knew her from years ago lol.
I didnt reply to her cuz im taken but she was definitely looking to lasso my kernel dean sanders 
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The exact opposite happened to me recently i gave a girl my phone number and she ghosted me lol
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Next time take her number lol
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All the appeal of an eel.
Literally.
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Is that the new awesome revirginator??
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