I used to get my dope by manipulation

I’ve been clean 29 years and now it’s me who’s getting played.
Do people make little subtle sounds and little laughter to control someone? Do people do that? When I’m home, throughout most of the day I hear laughter from neighbors. Not big peals of laughter, just subtle laughter and every now and then I catch them making “sounds” to control me like a puppet or a dog. Maybe it’s just me. I bring up drugs because I used to manipulate and play people like instruments to get them to pass me the pipe. Enemies or friends. So I understand stuff like that. In four years of addiction I only got caught doing it once by my friend. I guess I got over on some people but the majority of the time it was the other way around.

1 Like

thats generally playing mindgames.

I would not waste time worrying about what the neighbors think. If you have one friend it can be enough to help you let go of people who are not your friends.

2 Likes

The “coughs and sneezes are secret messages” phase of the thought broadcasting delusion is hard to break out of. I don’t think it ever truly goes away.

4 Likes

For some reason, sneezes never bother me.

1 Like

Exactly, someone in the apartment across from me in my bedroom has it in for me (a 100 percent he started it for no reason and him and his girlfriend or wife want to keep it going).

But for about two months they scared me every day because I thing he’s been homeless or in prison and every day they generated so much tension and craziness and it was so thick in any
room in my house that you could cut it with a knife.

Then after two months I discovered two things. One: it was the damn woman doing it. And two: she put me through a lot of changes and was wrecking my life in some ways but it was all mind games.

Wrecking my little confidence and trying to stamp out any spark of life or fight left in me and it was all a sick, phony game. Bast*rd’s.

I dunno. I did drugs pretty hc for 6 weeks. Got 90% for free. I think of me as the one who drew the short straw.

1 Like

Sure, when I started smoking pot in high school it was always free. As soon as I started it regularly: no more free samples.

always goes that way. whether its pot or coke or H. They will get ya.

1 Like

Lol, “The short straw”. Is that deliberate? We always rolled up dollar bills.

You are having a hard time, Nick! Is it the Holidays?

J.

1 Like

You don’t sound like Nick. Are you ok? You sound a little delusional there bud.

I just am trying to do too much and it doesn’t help with my situation in my apartment.

Well it’s me. I wouldn’t doubt that I’m a little delusional. But my sisters are coming over tomorrow to decorate for the holidays and bring some food. It should be a nice visit and a little relief.

4 Likes

No. What you’re experiencing is either delusion of reference or just hallucinations.

It’s easy to feel like neighbour sounds are timed to your doings and thoughts, but they aren’t.
I highly doubt if someone wanted to drive you nuts, they’d do it through coughing or laughter at random times.

1 Like

They know me. I know them. They stumbled upon what really bugs me–laughter. So they keep doing it.

I test it out and it’s subtle and I usually the only way I know when someone is bugging me is when it stops and I have relief from it. I’m not saying that I’m not delusional about it sometimes (I prefer to say that I’m “mistaken” about it a lot) because I am wrong about certain stuff, but after going through this for more than a year, I’m pretty sure I can tell the difference between laughter and no laughter.

That’s just it with hallucinations, though. They seem real. They feel so real. And the delusions make sense to the person who has them.

I can assure you, your neighbours have better things to do than play subtle mindgames all day.

3 Likes

Nick, I’m going to be honest here. I have noticed increasingly aggressive posts from you regarding your neighbors and I’m a bit worried for you. Please promise me you won’t interact with them or try to confront them, regardless of how upset you get at them. Whether you’'re mistaken or not, any altercation is going to go in the news as “schizophrenic man attacks neighbors for no reason” and you’ll be hurting the entire community and increasing stigma. Please just keep your head down and live your life, and get on the waitlist for a top floor apartment so you don’t have to deal with as much noise.

2 Likes

Nick, please talk to your doctor.
Sounds a bit delusional to me.

1 Like

Well, you said this before and it makes sense. I may be aggressive in my own house but all I want to do is talk to them. I don’t want a physical confrontation or an argument, I just want them to stop. I went next door about a month or two ago to talk to them. It’s the ground floor apt. and there’s two units and I knocked on a door and a friendly old guy and his wife answered and it turns out it was the wrong apt. but we chatted for a second and shared a laugh and I left and I got home and it boosted my confidence that if I talked to the real troublemakers that it would just be a civil conversation and nothing more.

I don’t know if I will talk to them or not but I just want to try. I’m not asking permission, I know it’s up to me what I do. But thanks for everybodie’s input.

2 Likes