I would be driving and think about trucks, then two minutes later I’d see a truck and I’d say “must be god” then I would laugh and cry hysterically for 4 minutes
Then they out me on meds
Just shows how irrational I was with my Jesus delusion, although there’s still some coincidences I can’t chalk up to anything but God intervention. But it ruled my whole life when I was unmedicated. Then the coincidences stopped happening I said God was playing tricks on me with the medication. But as time went on I became more rational and barely believe it anymore
It’s hard to break out of… sometimes… it’s hard to accept that I’m better off ON my meds…
My head circus would act up and I when I would think about trucks… and then see a truck… it would confirm my belief that I could predict the future.
That would make me blissfully hyper and manic… more proof that I could see the future. It also made me more convinced that I was in tune with the universe. I used to believe that my meds took made me numb and took me out of tune with the universe.
It’s been a long haul getting out of that delusion.
It was several months ago when I had a dream that caused me to awake abruptly feeling a bit paranoid/frantic. A song I hadn’t heard in years (certainly not a song I’d listen to by choice) was playing so vividly in that dream and it was The Police - Every Breath You Take.
I thought I’d shake it off by watching a funny youtube video and clicked on one of the suggested videos at that time. Since the video was a prank I’d thought it’d help me laugh and forget about the dream. The prank that they pulled however was on some guy (forgot what his job was) whose speakers we’re hacked to play that very song…
And this is just but one such occurrence. Wasn’t the last time I heard that song either.