Schizophrenia.com

I told my case manager the score today

I have reached the conclusion that I am done.

There is no purpose, and prolonging the inevitable through “Treatment” is counter productive

I asked a simple question that is treating my mental health problems a positive or negative thing?

He didn’t know the answer.

I posed well if you’re trying to treat me, I am wanting to implode or explode.

Self-destruction

I have capacity to make an end of life decision

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You also have the capacity to make a start-of-life decision.

:heart:

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@Joker you have people in real life and here on the forum who care about you.

The people in real life are trying their best.

Don’t let getting overwhelmed by work issues get you down. I suspect that is happening.

I hope things get better for you.

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Maybe a holiday would help. A couple of days by the beach or some hiking?

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My last option is to relocate permanently to achieve this.

Yes I think you’re right. Crisis of purpose seems to be putting things into perspective at the moment

I just got back from a holiday.

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I thought I was “done” many, many times. I was wrong. You’re going to hit lows in life; you just keep going. If it takes moving–then move. Hell, 5 years ago I had been living independently for 20 years, I had stayed out of the hospital for 25 years, I was going to college, I thought I had my health, I was working part time. Then my world came crashing down. In the space of a week, I lost almost everything. My mom died, I lost my housing, I hurt my back badly. I ended up feeling suicidal and had to be hospitalized.

I had to quit school and take two months off of work. I went from living in normal society to living in a board & care home again. All within the space of a week. I could have given up but with some help I eventually got my life back together. Now I’m working, taking a class, living semi independently and my back improved. Life is always going to throw bad sh*t at you, you can count on that. But it’s survivable. Maybe you need to make some big changes and adjustments. I went from renting rooms and living in a studio to being back in mental health housing. I lived with normal families and neighbors for twenty years but now I’m back to living in mental health housing. That’s the kind of big change I’m talking about. It isn’t so bad now, I’m used to it.

Life always reflects how you’re feeling. If you’re unhappy and depressed life looks hopeless. If you’re happy, life doesn’t look that bad. But both those perspectives are temporary. Happiness and optimism comes and goes and so does depression and hopelessness. You just don’t want to make bad decisions when you’re feeling low, eventually the pendulum will swing and things will look better.

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Appreciate you taking the time to write that @77nick77

I will take this onboard and try to be more self aware about these things

Not sure if coming down off the AD before starting a new one is a good idea, but have no choice.

On top of that I have a dispute with my neighbour over noise, and until this afternoon my financial security was not looking great

I now have a new job in my hometown, and I have to get out of this mindset somehow and do well at it

Hope there are no more immediate stumbling blocks ahead, as I really need some things to go my way again to lift my mood

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