I had a problem with believing that the Russians were controlling my mind via youtube. I had a tendency to watch these videos published by Russians for hours and hours while I thought they controlled my mind. For over a year, I was convinced that I was a sleeper agent of the Russians, but finally I noticed some repetition in the patterns of what I thought the Russians were commanding me to do. Eventually I decided that I was just watching video playlists on repeat on youtube, while just thinking that they were taking over my mind.
But for example, during the election of Donald Trump, suddenly a very large number of these kinds of videos showed up on youtube. I just couldn’t stop watching them because there were so many new ones to discover and I wanted to receive more commands from the Russians. I watched them for hours and hours.
Months later, it’s really quite embarrassing. It took me so long to notice that I was just watching these videos on repeat while thinking that they were controlling my mind. Actually it was just a coincidence. The videos were playing in such a way that I thought they were sending me messages, but I realized that actually they weren’t. They were just videos that some random weird people had posted on youtube.
Then I found out that it is quite common with schizophrenia to think you are receiving individualized messages from a radio or a TV. For me, I realized that then what I was experiencing was a more modern version of this where TV/radio was being replaced by youtube. For example, I thought that if I watched the reflection of the lights in the eyes of the persons talking, eventually I would be able to decode some secret messages. I spent hours watching the reflection of these lights and trying to interpret them. I had all sorts of elaborate thoughts about the meaning of these blinking lights.
But eventually I realized that this was nonsense. I don’t know if the blinking lights were a coincidence of the way the lighting was during the videos, or if some Russians were really putting some weird blinking lights in the eyes of these people to attract people with schizophrenia, but eventually I decided that it was all nonsense. Don’t fall for it!
I’m saying all this because I wonder if there are some other people with schizophrenia out there who think they are receiving messages via youtube. If so, it’s not real! It’s a delusion! Don’t believe it!!! If you think you are experiencing this, just watch the repetition of the videos very carefully, and you will realize it’s just youtube repeating the videos for you trying to keep you watching. That’s how they make money with advertizing!
This is the weirdest delusion that I had. The other delusions I had were much more ho-hum and elementary persecutory-type delusions, but this one was positively of-the-charts! Don’t fall for this one. It’s just some weird videos on youtube! Don’t fall for it! Talk to people you trust and find a way to get back to reality.