I thought the Russians were controlling my mind via youtube

I had a problem with believing that the Russians were controlling my mind via youtube. I had a tendency to watch these videos published by Russians for hours and hours while I thought they controlled my mind. For over a year, I was convinced that I was a sleeper agent of the Russians, but finally I noticed some repetition in the patterns of what I thought the Russians were commanding me to do. Eventually I decided that I was just watching video playlists on repeat on youtube, while just thinking that they were taking over my mind.

But for example, during the election of Donald Trump, suddenly a very large number of these kinds of videos showed up on youtube. I just couldn’t stop watching them because there were so many new ones to discover and I wanted to receive more commands from the Russians. I watched them for hours and hours.

Months later, it’s really quite embarrassing. It took me so long to notice that I was just watching these videos on repeat while thinking that they were controlling my mind. Actually it was just a coincidence. The videos were playing in such a way that I thought they were sending me messages, but I realized that actually they weren’t. They were just videos that some random weird people had posted on youtube.

Then I found out that it is quite common with schizophrenia to think you are receiving individualized messages from a radio or a TV. For me, I realized that then what I was experiencing was a more modern version of this where TV/radio was being replaced by youtube. For example, I thought that if I watched the reflection of the lights in the eyes of the persons talking, eventually I would be able to decode some secret messages. I spent hours watching the reflection of these lights and trying to interpret them. I had all sorts of elaborate thoughts about the meaning of these blinking lights.

But eventually I realized that this was nonsense. I don’t know if the blinking lights were a coincidence of the way the lighting was during the videos, or if some Russians were really putting some weird blinking lights in the eyes of these people to attract people with schizophrenia, but eventually I decided that it was all nonsense. Don’t fall for it!

I’m saying all this because I wonder if there are some other people with schizophrenia out there who think they are receiving messages via youtube. If so, it’s not real! It’s a delusion! Don’t believe it!!! If you think you are experiencing this, just watch the repetition of the videos very carefully, and you will realize it’s just youtube repeating the videos for you trying to keep you watching. That’s how they make money with advertizing!

This is the weirdest delusion that I had. The other delusions I had were much more ho-hum and elementary persecutory-type delusions, but this one was positively of-the-charts! Don’t fall for this one. It’s just some weird videos on youtube! Don’t fall for it! Talk to people you trust and find a way to get back to reality.

@ScoobyDoo the Russians are very infamous. Being Russian myself I can tell you that we are very friendly. They are too busy getting drunk to try and control anyone. Plus, we have them to thank for Phenibut and Vodka.


На здоро́вье!!!

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the Russians I have met have been very driven and ambitious people, nice tho.

Ahhh sorry I hope I don’t upset anyone that I thought it was the Russians. This is just my random delusion and could just as well have been aliens or some Europeans or Americans or whoever. (Just on American election day they were trying to keep me watching the videos instead of voting for president.) Who is it anyway the “they”?

They are so seductive though. They ensnared me again today. They are so good at it. I only watched it for 45 minutes this time, and then I was free again. But seriously though, I used to watch it like 3 or 4 hours a day. I was florid at that time.

I want to tell more of the details about it, but I am afraid if I do, someone else on this site will find it and then become ensnared too. I don’t want to do that to anyone! Maybe I am still psychotic … but it’s weird I am only psychotic about certain specific things …

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Usually my delusions have been specific to start, then branch out if they go untreated. I’m lucky that the drugs I’m on have reduced them to the point where they rarely enter my mind as before. Only bad part is I blew up like a blob.

@ScoobyDoo. Are you currently taking meds? Have the meds helped reduce your delusions?


Even after I realize that some thoughts I’m having are delusional, it’s still hard to get them to go away or for me to stop believing them.

I’m on paliperidone. My wife thinks it’s helping a lot – from my perspective, it’s harder to tell how much it’s helping. But I can tell that I’m not a big mess like I was before I got on AP’s. And I guess it is helping prevent my delusions from spreading.

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There is a lot of evidence that the Russians were trying to influence voters. I don’t remember if they have admitted to it yet. Their justification is that we do it to them so we deserve it. I dont know why I say we, the government is far from being with me and for me. The deep state is against the other deep states, and we are the casualties. I too had a sense that a lot of those “anonymous” videos were likely state sponsored there was just too many of them at some decent quality for it to be a volunteer thing. You will find a lot of uncensored news on steemit.com
The truth is much stranger than we think.
Maybe they do have some Psyops for American voters.
I think anyone with an open mind will seem delusional at some point.
Just always fact check and do research to find the truth. If you truly want the truth you will receive it.

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I have delusions about the tv sending me secret messages plus I believe Kourtney Kardashian sends me secret messages. I wish I didn’t have any of this. It makes it hard to watch tv or go out. I also believe the writing on cars are sending me secret messages from the government. I try to overlook it.

Yeah, it can be hard to avoid receiving secret messages. I’m still working on it.

The website tried to get me again. They used english-speaking hypnotists, chinese-speaking cartoons and marmots. But it didn’t work. I evaded them ha!

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