So I am a meth addict been so for now 3 long years that feel as though it were far more that that. I am currently at a friends house and as I write these the smart phone just wrote some words in sentences as though it were reading my mind I swear. However, by having been reaserching about schizophrenia I know it is not real and it’s all coincidence. It started at the third month into my heavy usage of the drug that I saw people following me. Line of weird looking cars on the street would follow me and they drove by me so very slowly as to take a look at me or so. It got worse. I started watching porn videos and I thought my ex was in it I could see him I swear. Then I realized it was a lie. Sure he did cheat a lot lol but not like that. Then it got worse I then started hearing my mom’s voices or those of my nephews niecessisters cousins everyone I had on Facebook. I never saw them tho. I only saw them when I’d play music videos on you tube. It has been heart breaking the stories my voices create are so real. I thought I was being gang stalked by the government or some kind of group I don’t know. Thought my thoughts were being broadcasted on the mid air and all my neighbors could hear or see me because their tv’s were hacked and I was the only topic they saw. Obviously it was mostly sexual stuff since I had spent 12 hours or so watching porn videos. It was all so humiliating and I am scared to go out because if I see a person’s reaction to my thoughts it will make it more real. I thought the FIB or homeland security agencies were mind controlling me. It’s still very difficult for me to believe it’s not tri for its been almost 3 years of hell but I’m on my way to recovery. What I wanna ask is what does it seem that I have is it meth indused psuchosis/schitzo? Or what are your thoughts and suggestions for me?
I used to use speed. When I started hearing voices, they thought it might have just been a toxic psychosis. Eventually they diagnosed me as schizophrenic. My substance abuse (alcohol, marijuana, speed) continued for many years. It just made things worse for me, my symptoms were way more intense. Speed is the worst drug for people who are schizophrenic. Its one of the worst drug for people without a psychiatric disorder too, when you’re using you can have symptoms that mimic a psychiatric disorder. I understand that it can be very difficult to quit, but your prognosis is not very good if you keep on using. Good luck
Have you tried rehab?
Yes and going back soon. I am too weak to not use to be honest.
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