People are trying to understand me and where I’m coming from. Nobody at work gets me.
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What dont they get about you? Your a nice bloke, polite, share a lot about yourself. If people are strangers then its probably anxiety and a bit of paranoia, and if there nasty then there not worth it??
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Overthinking is a hard thing for sz. Your a good dude but conversation is a different beast.
Most times interactions are about listening. Learn what people say. Listen to what they say and then you form your responses…If your getting blowback it could be that your skills aren’t up to it and your taking things the wrong way and your responses may be putting people off.
Rome wasn’t built in a day but you have your agenda and other people have their agenda. You need to move to where their stuff is aligned to your stuff…or develop the skills to do that.
It’s hard work as you get older but conversation really is a skill we often miss with having sz. We really do. Start small but listen to cues. Respond to cues. Look for elements of your life that you can relate too…It’s hard to do for sure but I suspect you have your ways and that is hard to change when your older but it’s not impossible.
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Why people are out-side to get you when you are inside
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I really liked your post. I’m self critical and it means a lot reading that post.
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I struggle with a very generalised mistrust of people
In the past I did not have my guard up and people took advantage of that
Have not worked out a good way to initiate a friendship whilst protecting myself
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Usually people don’t care that much at work. Just be your lovely self, and some people can’t get anyone not even themselves.
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Yeah it’s tough and that is human interaction. Still. It’s a skill. You ask questions. You see how people respond to them and you develop your judgement over time like any other skill…
Yes. I’m lucky I’ve always been uber social and that helps heaps but everyone can do it. Talking is easy. You soon learn if people are intersted. When it comes to peoples motives you just never know but it’s like playing poker. You get a tell on their responses and that is usually a good guide…If someone sells you a line you get it in the end so others doing the same send you the flag…
It’s never easy with sz because we tend to hyperanalyze everything and often that doesn’t help in social situations as most people just do them and it’s different from us.
So. All’s I’m saying. You can still socialize and get out there but keep up that guard because it’s healthy for sure. I’ve learned recently to get rid of people who do me wrong after knowing them for 40 years…We are human and we all don’t get it most of the time!
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I think the problem is as an adult, at least where I am, there’s less opportunity to test out these types of skills
At school I just gave up on life
Even at college I was unable to sort this out.
I’ve done the same with some people who were not respectful
Would say that the odd times I do go out these days, people seem more friendly towards me
Don’t know why
Maybe the clozapine has made me more approachable
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Get a hobby or an interest. I played cricket till I was 40. Yeah it was all blokes but it was social and i learned those skills…
What interests you? I know stuff out there in the UK is huge. Like if your geeky heaps of people play warhammer or play games and stuff. Like I’m soon to be 55 and I stuff around hobby wise with 1/32 slot cars…If your religious then go to church. If your atheist go to the pub but sip sodas.
I think the key is you have to maintain that connectness. I go to the local leftist meetings of our major political party. I’m the new guy so at social functions everyone bombards me with their leftist crazyness but meanwhile I’m playing cricket at indoor with some people I met there and it’s so good…
Look at the long game. You want it you get out there but pick your approach. You learn doing it which is half the battle with mental illness.
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Thanks @rogueone
I will try and think about what I can do and see
Have lived in relative isolation from my community for a decade
My fear is that I have a very bad reputation with my peers
And I don’t blame them, it was my fault
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You’ll meet new people and most people have their own shite going on so the important thing is that you get out there. Yeah it’s tough. It really is when you’ve isolated for so long but you meet one good person…You make a friend you can confide in…or perhaps someone you respect and respects you…it’s worth it matey. Life is much better when your not alone…especially the modern life!
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