I think I want to stop taking my medications again

Every twelve hours I fight the impulse to go off my meds, and for the past six months I have taken my meds every single morning and night. But now as I come to the end of my monthly injection and as my depression and suicidal thoughts worsen and after having waited FIVE ■■■■■■■ months for the ECT, I am seriously considering stopping my meds. It is so painful knowing that all of the depression could vanish into the fervor of mania if I skip my injection and stop taking my pills. And I wonder why haven’t I just gone off my meds because that’s the only solution I can see since I’m wondering whether the ECT is even happening or if my psychiatrist and therapist and the ECT doctor are just lying to me like a grand joke.

@HulGil don’t go off your meds. Have your doctors given you any explanation why it’s taking so long to get approved for the ECT?

On May 11th I was referred to a doctor at the teaching/research hospital that does ECT. I could not get an appointment with him until July and he was on vacation during July so I had an appointment on August 11th. He recommended I try lithium for one month before getting it just to see if that would alleviate the depression. That month, despite being on the lithium and four other meds, I had lots of psychotic symptoms which previously had been controlled by my antipsychotic which evolved into a mixed hypomanic episode. My suicidal thoughts had gone from mild ideation about death to a plan but hesitant because I had hope for the ECT to who cares I’ll kill myself in the next six months anyways.

So the ECT doctor says to wait another month! I sent him an emphatic email telling that f*cker what’s what. He said he appreciated my urgency, agreed, and decided to begin the process without waiting any longer. BUT! My state requires in minors a child psychiatrist to assess the patient other than a regular psychiatrist. In total you have to be assessed by THREE physicians by law. So it’s been a week and the child psychiatrist hasn’t contacted me like the ECT doctor said he would. And of course, I would probably have to wait a month to get an appointment.

And then I have to get a physical. And then a meeting with an anesthesiologist and I’m sure there’s something else I’m forgetting. So since being in the mental health system I have learned that appointments usually take a month each to schedule. That’s like three months…

I am extremely thankful that the doctor listened to me and decided to commence the process anyway, but I am annoyed that the child psychiatrist hasn’t contacted me yet. Thinking about all the weeks I have to wait makes me want to vomit because I honestly am not sure if I won’t have killed myself by then. I told this to the doctor, which is the statement that I’m sure influenced his choice to approve me, but I have realized it can only go so fast.

F*ck I don’t know how I’m going to do this

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Can you (or your parent on your behalf) contact the child pdoc tomorrow and request an appointmemt? Sometimes it goes a little faster than waiting for their office to contact you.

I would guess that getting the required physical shouldn’t take too long since that’s a pretty routine appointment. They’re assessing that you’re physically fit enough for the intended medical procedure.

Similarly the anesthesiologist appointment is also a pretty routine appointment, typically scheduled shortly before a medical procedure requiring anesthesia.

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Hey I too constantly live with the urge to stop medication. Do you know why?

Medication helps us. But I keep forgetting the fact that medication is helping me and

I keep thinking " I’m Okay " I don’t need medicine etc

And when I go off the medicine it’s hell.

Solution:

Anti psychotic for Anger/Rage

L-theanine for zero delusions ( 2 table spoons morning and 2 table spoons night )

Tianeptine 12.5 mg ( 3 times a day on empty stomach ) BEST FOR DEPRESSION

and all my problems are solved.

I added Memantine ( 5 mg twice a day ) and Rasagiline 2 mg every morning

and now I’m thinking

Why does the Doctor doesn’t know these medication?

I get these medication with the help of a Doctor who is friend of my Father.

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Now my Life is simply AWESOME.

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Because they don’t work for everyone. Me, for example.

I’m an old guy now. But when I was young, they made me have ECT against my will. And . . . they were pleased with the outcome.

Jayster

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Don’t stop your meds, bro.

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I called the doctor and got an appointment Friday! I’m extremely relieved to know that it’s going to be just 4-5 days before I have this appointment. Perhaps, I dare to think, that my other appointments for the ECT maybe won’t take as long as I thought.

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That’s scary that it was given to you involuntarily, ethically corrupt I think, but I am very glad it helped you!

That’s great news! Keep us posted on how things go.

good luck, I hope you can get the ok for the ECT. I too want to know how everything goes.

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The world is a very frightening place for me when I forgo my pills. You might enter a similar state if you do the same.

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You are correct; today I made a list of seven reasons why I should take my medications. I realized a lot.

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I had my psych eval done and was officially approved for the ECT. I think I’m going to be meeting with the doctor who is going to be doing it to schedule the other appointments and just check in. Then, I have to get an ECG reading, a physical, and an anesthesiologist appointment. After that, I receive the ECT. I was concerned with the scheduling and asked the doctor how long do you think it might take, and he said that he couldn’t give an estimate but assured me it would be quick because they are prioritizing my case.

I’m excited because I feel like I might finally have the opportunity to get better after all this stuff.

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It sounds like everything is falling into place. You must be relieved.

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Yeah I really am, thanks so much for talking to me about it.

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Well, best of luck! :relaxed:

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