I think I subconsciously wanted to go insane

Deep down I’ve always been fascinated with the supernatural. I remember so many times where I would fervently pray for superpowers. I would try and meditate and unlock some sort of latent power I thought I had in me. I think I broke myself doing that. And I don’t know if I can be fixed.

The subconscious is so powerful. I’ve noticed that something will happen to me, and subconsciously it’s like I programmed it to happen that way. It’s like those pictures of the iceberg, how it’s big above the water and massive underneath.

Like I’ll subconsciously think something and my whole life will gear itself around that thing. I have to constantly monitor my thoughts to avoid really ■■■■■■ up ■■■■ from happening. And when I don’t it really does happen. What a life.


I feel like this too. Like, if I tell a lie about something it’s like I’m making it happen. If that makes sense. Not like I can just be like oh, in a millionaire, and then I will be. But usually bad stuff. If I exaggerate something or whatever. Usually something bad. I feel like I’m not making sense. But that’s all to say, I get you. What you said resonated with me and what I go through.

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Deep down every hume wants to go insane. Some of us are just better at it than others…

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