I saw myself again

Sometimes my residual self image function goes away.

And im left looking at how truly awful my body is.

I always felt it, even though at one point i was what was considered handsome.

I always knew i was just morbid flesh though, just some wierd dying guy.

It’s not very comfy and i don’t know why it happens.

Residual self image, hold on to it.

You need a friend. Do you have any way of meeting someone or are you still rejecting all outsiders?

its so difficult that meds can make us put on weight its just sooo unfair grrrr.

Whether i would be fat or not, it’s not the point, it’s the meat that i am, my skull, my bones and blood.

It’s a horrendous thing to be and i can see that sometimes, it’s shocking seeing it.

We all die eventually, that’s the best part of life.
Could you imagine the boredom of living forever?
…that must be why the vampires despise amphetamine abuse among mortals. When they snack on tweakers, everything speeds up and time slows to a crawl. All the while there is no end in sight.

I couldn’t see living like this forever, but in a different way perhaps.

Some things would not be boring at all, and perhaps boredom is only a human thing anyway.

This place though, and these bodies, if i had to do this forever, now that would be a problem alright.