I remember one time

I was standing on the porch at my mom’s house and staring off in space, smoking a cigarette and I saw myself walk out from behind the fence and I picked something up, I think it was the screen for the burn barrel and turn around and walk back. I really thought I lost my mind.

It was during the same time period that I came to in the grocery store standing with the freezer door open and having no idea what I was doing there… I didn’t know how long I had been standing there or what I was after. I felt like everyone was staring at me so I just closed the door and walked to the next aisle where I realized I had a list and I figured it out from there. I was shopping for my mother and I was in that freezer after her fried chicken that she loved so much.

There was a huge amount of stress going on in my life at that point and I wasn’t properly medicated. I was totally symptomatic with no ap just an ad and a mood stabilizer and a prn.

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I had “lost time” on seroquel. That med drove me bananas and nearly killed me.

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I was on depakote which they figured I’m allergic to and I did a lot of things partially unconsciousness and totally unconscious, the scariest was walking many miles from home at three in the morning unconscious. I also tried to buy razor blades at a convenient store but was unable to pay for them. People were really alarmed.

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I’ve been getting up to do something in my apartment, and then forgetting what I meant to do. I’m getting old.


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