I still wonder if stopping my meds for 2yrs worsened my negative symptoms. I guess I will never know. My negative symptoms were worse during the 2yrs I stopped meds than during my first stay in psychward.
So much so that I believe that that is what stopped my psychosis the first time round in the hospital and then I didn’t require medication that first time.
man, i miss the psych ward so bad. i remember being so secure in there. i wasn’t even medicated. i just felt safe in there. i remember the smell and the air so vividly, too
Mixed feelings about my first psyche ward. On one hand it was physically nice, like a country club. It was new and clean, and we played ping pong and pool. The first few days I was there I used to play chess with one of the psyche techs: he was pretty cool. We went on outings out to the hills our the park to play around. I went jogging in the hills with another psyche tech. After I had been there a few days they brought in a girl my age, 19 and put her in her room. I used to walk laps around in a circle in the ward and I passed by her room several times and once I looked in her room and she saw me and she said, “Hey, wanna make it?” She was too messed up though, she was sick and I didn’t want to take advantage of her or make her worse so I said no.
But I played ping pong with a girl I liked and even invited her to take a walk outside so we strolled around the grounds.
So I have all these good memories of the place. BUT, it’s also where I first became psychotic. I didn’t go in psychotic but within 5 days they made me take medication and the vey next day I turned psychotic. It was horrible, I felt like I was going crazy and I couldn’t even walk right, I just shuffled around slowly. My mind was really screwed up. I don’t miss anything about being psychotic there but I met some nice people and it started out fun there.