I really miss....,

…the smell of the psych hospital on my first stay

I really miss that time

I miss being alive I guess that is why

back during my first stay on the ward,

I was still unmedicated

I also enjoyed it when I thought I was dead, i mean I enjoyed it to an extent, at my second round in the hospital

I did a dance class and it was fun because i thought I was in a different dimension, in the ward,.

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Hmm. . .

My Favorite Part Of My Facility Stays Were The People In Charge During The Night’s.

I Slept Well Knowing All Was Secure.

It Was A Sense Of Safety Felt Slightly Somewhat Limited During My Stay With My Family.

So, The Facility Brought Surprising Comfort.

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First time I was in psychward it was fun and made friends but second time was horrible as my negative symptoms got a lot worse, I was lonely.

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I still wonder if stopping my meds for 2yrs worsened my negative symptoms. I guess I will never know. My negative symptoms were worse during the 2yrs I stopped meds than during my first stay in psychward.

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Did you ever stop your meds?
2.5mg Abilify isnt even a sz dose, 5mg is the dose for depression.

@Zoe

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Yea I did in 2018.but I relapsed.

Right now on 2.5mg I’m not relapsing so maybe it really does help.

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When I stopped my meds, my negative symptoms started to get less. Did you stop cold turkey?

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Yea me too.

So much so that I believe that that is what stopped my psychosis the first time round in the hospital and then I didn’t require medication that first time.

I’m glad you had a good time there

I remember the first visit to the psych ward it smelled of desperation, urine, and stale farts. And the cheap antiseptic they tried to cover it with.

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I remember the smell of the laundry… :sob:

OK it’s not crying sad but it is rose spectacle tinted sad…if I’m using that term correctly I’m not sure.

man, i miss the psych ward so bad. i remember being so secure in there. i wasn’t even medicated. i just felt safe in there. i remember the smell and the air so vividly, too

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Nothing in hell or earth will get me back into one of these places.

Second time, was good

The other 10 times I hated it so much I got out as soon as I could

Most boring places ever

Just a holding cell

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Mixed feelings about my first psyche ward. On one hand it was physically nice, like a country club. It was new and clean, and we played ping pong and pool. The first few days I was there I used to play chess with one of the psyche techs: he was pretty cool. We went on outings out to the hills our the park to play around. I went jogging in the hills with another psyche tech. After I had been there a few days they brought in a girl my age, 19 and put her in her room. I used to walk laps around in a circle in the ward and I passed by her room several times and once I looked in her room and she saw me and she said, “Hey, wanna make it?” She was too messed up though, she was sick and I didn’t want to take advantage of her or make her worse so I said no.

But I played ping pong with a girl I liked and even invited her to take a walk outside so we strolled around the grounds.

So I have all these good memories of the place. BUT, it’s also where I first became psychotic. I didn’t go in psychotic but within 5 days they made me take medication and the vey next day I turned psychotic. It was horrible, I felt like I was going crazy and I couldn’t even walk right, I just shuffled around slowly. My mind was really screwed up. I don’t miss anything about being psychotic there but I met some nice people and it started out fun there.

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I want to go on 2.5 mg but am scared of what my doctor will say I think 5mg is too high and I’m still getting side affects

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Same here my negative symptoms decreased when I stopped my meds it’s a weird one tbh

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Are you on anything else other then abilify,?

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Yea it really makes me kind of sad to think back to that first ward visit I don’t know why… It is funny.

Sad to think how young I felt.

Anyways it’ s fine.

Life goes on and new experiences are to come.

I’ll just treasure that time in my memory.

Yea second time was not that great for me either.

I tried to get out ASAP. But I had to stay there for 3 weeks.

I sort of had a crush on someone in there whilst I was gaining weight every single day so it was pretty embarrassing.

Let’s hope we both don’t end up in there again.

Unless it’s really necessary.

Did you meet and talk to other mentally ill patients while at the psychiatric hospital?

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