I really didn't want to say this

I’ve been here though i haven’t posted. Just haven’t been on the computer much lately. Because I lost my job the blessing is i don’t have an obligation and now i could change my life’s direction. To be honest with you because of my schizo i was never able to keep a steady job which was worst because I wasn’t any better before my diagnosis. Due to lack of interest and picking wrong jobs for money. But to be honest I’ve gotten accustomed to not working and doing odd jobs for the family. I started volunteering for Habitat for humanity. it was fun my first day and i really liked the crew. According to myer’s briggs im an ISFJ and holland codes im a social. Which if theres anything i know about myself I know I’m a helper and i don’t need a test to tell me that. My pastor is my biggest idol in my life and they say i don’t have a gift of preaching. Ive accepted that and thought on the one gift i do have which is the gift of helps. A couple days ago i looked up that word helps in a bible lexicon which is linked to aiding but also mediation.

My pastor always says if God opens up a door to take it. So thats why im on disability. But theres not to many easy open doors in my life. Im not to physically in shape nor mental. Which kinda stops me from doing a lot of stuff naturally. So when i started with habitat i found out in order to get a stipend i need to apply to ameri corps. I forgot to say the reason i want to do habitat is to become a handyman and continue to do odd jobs for people or that was the motive. So i learned about all of the different opportunities through ameri corps. one i saw an opening for mediation. The main reason why i didn’t do it before was the lack of money for training. Ameri corps have stipend and free training and many other benefits like health and education. This strange door seems to be open. im just going to walk through and see where it leads.

TLDR
The point to my topic is unrelated. After looking at the career road map for jobs i felt discouraged about people doing the best in their fields compared to me. I then wondered about the prognosis of schizophrenia. What are my likely outcomes in life? I don’t love my life fully and those thoughts of self harm do come. I thought of all of the many people doing worst than i am. The point in all this is im in a good spot to become a role model imagine in a world where the outcome looks worst as time goes on. I really consider myself as a diamond in the rough. Imagine if accomplished all of my desires. Got a good job and settled down. I don’t want to be rich and famous. Im not so bad that i can’t do anything. And its not so good that life was handed to me. My life story could be used to really lift people up. just for my personal acquaintances. my intentions in saying this are to help people. I would have preferred a more direct path in life. When you think of how bad a prognosis is and to overcome it. It’s a victory!

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Well done you.

I don’t work either and rely on the pension over here. I do volunteer two or so half days a week at my cricket club. It’s good. It gives you something to do and you get out of the house and all and that is a positive thing.

Glad your trying and your out there. Hope it all goes well. I get there with medications and some great support from family and friends.

It’s not anything bad to say you need help and social security. Schizophrenia is a world of hurt and we all need some help! Nothing wrong with saying it!

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