make sure you cover your ass man
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Personality disorders donāt respond to the drugs as well as the biological disorders. Thatās true, but Iāve found that people with different sets of problems are better at helping each other. Yes, I could relate to another schizophrenic in very meaningful ways, but the thought of us bouncing off each other if we destabilized?
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Malignant personality disorders donāt respond to drugs, no, but that is not why I wouldnāt want to be friends or lovers with someone who has one. It is because my parents have personality disorders, and Iām too easily triggered by the common behaviors because of it. A relationship with say a narcissist or sociopath just wouldnāt be possible for me. Doesnāt mean I donāt understand that they are afflicted in their own ways, but I must put my own mental health first, like everyone else should.
And I would not want to try getting into a close friendship or romantic relationship unless I had been stable for some time, meaning that I had found a reliable way to stay stable. I would also not want to be in a relationship with someone who was not willing to manage their mental illness to the best of their ability.
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My ex wife had Borderline - She nearly destroyed me permanently.
I cant handle another Borderline, but would gladly date a woman with another biological based severe mental illness, like Schizophrenia or Bipolar.
My ex wife was a psychopath - this was the real issue.
i think i hear where youāre coming from. you donāt want to be someoneās live-in maid who potentially gets abused. you want someone who loves you for you.
hey, borderline women can be charming 
i like to feel needed. the substance abuse thatās almost ubiquitous to it, though? big problem.
Well yes, thereās that. But being with someone who has a PD would likely exacerbate my own PD traits. I recognize some codependent and borderline traits in myself now and then. Iām not the sort to act on them, but if in a relationship and feeling triggered all the time? Damn sure I would morph into a batshit crazy biatch lol. And I donāt want that for myself. I want to be healthy.
Yeah, I cannot say that all Borderline women are bad seeds - My ex wife was just not a very nice person, she did a lot of really bad thiings towards me. She was surely a Sociopath on top of it.
I would have been in trouble several times over if it werenāt for my extremely grounded non-sz wife pulling me back to reality. Hereās the problem with two mentally ill people dating:
Now imagine adding parenting to that mix.
Pixel.
Basic BPD overview includes:
Splitting (thinking in extremes)
Chaos in relationships
Markedly disturbed sense of identity
Intense or uncontrollable emotional outbursts
Unstable interpersonal relationships and self-esteem
Concerns about abandonment
Self-damaging behavior
Impulsivity
Frequently accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage
None of that automatically means the person will be cruel to others. For example, many with BPD focus anger inwards and only express it through self-damaging ways.
The same could be said of narcissism, in my opinion. Not all narcissists are malignant, some of them are just delusional and careless, but donāt experience any sadism or deliberate attempts to hurt others.
I am alright with people with PDs who are not malignant. I think there is a point at which a person with a PD must choose whether or not they care about how they affect others, whether they will fight their traits or embrace them without caring about others. The latter is when it becomes malignant and may morph into AsPD.
This is all just my personal opinion, mind, not a professional or scientific opinion, or anything like that.
Like I mentioned before - she was a psychopath/sociopath - She externalized her anger and lashed out her rage at me.
Not saying all people with Borderline are like this.
I get ya, I was more so coming from the angle that if she was deliberately cruel to you, then that was malignant and more along the lines of getting into AsPD, just from the way I personally see it. Was more so trying to validate your views. I believe in calling a spade, a spade. Not making excuses for people. I have BPD tendencies (I think) but thatās no excuse or justification for me to be cruel to others, so I wouldnāt want to see cruelty being couched with āwell they had BPDā or something like that.
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My girlfriend is stableā¦ Iām not saying sheās normalā¦ but she knows there are some parts of her head that need a little help. Sheās not Szā¦
I dated a wild girl when I was youngerā¦ there was something undiagnosed going on thereā¦ with the drugs and the alcoholā¦ we were toxic together
We derailed each other all the timeā¦ and just got each other in to deeper and deeper problems.
I wouldnāt care if my Gf is Szā¦ but I really want a stable girlā¦
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I had a SZ girlfriend, but it didnāt turn out well. She kept complaining about the people around her. She liked to draw and I like art but somehow I didnāt like her work. I guess she was, like, too moderate in a way. I forgot why I liked her at first. Now I like girls who donāt care much about how other people think. I think I like otaku girls because they have their own standard in what they like and how they thinkā¦I donāt know. Maybe Iām over classifying.