Call it karma call it fate. I had a bad trip that is ongoing. Opened doors in my mind that needed to remain shut. Have to learn how to close them. Have to learn how to live again. Have to shut out the voices. I remember it was just like one time I smoked pot and I started hearing voices. Cracked the door. Continued to smoke and open that door little by little. It was wide open. Telepathic persecution and voices. Used to believe in telepathy or its potential. Not wise not wise at all.
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I have a feeling to that when I get over this I’ll know exactly what I’m doing. Its certainly not going to happen on its own. Have to kill the voices. Kill em.
Recovery isn’t a smooth ride, it’s sometimes a rollercoaster. There will be ups and downs and no one person can ever manage their condition without mistakes now and again. Just hold on tight through the bad bits and make sure you pour yourself a hot cuppa and take a quiet moment whenever you can to calm down.
You’ve made it this far, you know where you had an oopsie, and you know what you’re going to do next. That’s fantastic progress. Pat yourself on the back and keep moving forward. 
10-96
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Thanks pixel… you know it really does feel great to be supported. Good luck in your journey. No more drugs for me.
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I have diverticular disease. Little sacs have developed in my large intestine due to poor diet. I need to eat properly and exercise to keep it from getting worse or face having my bowels resectioned by surgery. Every so often I start feeling invincible and pound a bunch of pulled pork sandwiches, ribs, and fries with gravy. This is usually followed by a week of intense pain and heavy antibiotics despite my knowing better.
So it ain’t just you, we all drift off course. I’m just hoping to do it less in the future.
10-96
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Hi Bryan~
You have come so far, I`m amazed…
Keep on going OO
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Just stay away from drugs!
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Are you sure it was the drugs?
What if it wasn’t.
Drugs make a good smoke screen.
I say this because they showed me it was them, they proved it time and time again, they have even burned me on my hand which left two marks.
It ain’t the drugs b-rye. The drugs though, oh the drugs, make us look like a steak din din, leaves us wide ass open, it’s the smoke screen from hell. No one ever knows the difference either.
Yeah drugs don’t remind me
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