Schizophrenia.com

I once traversed ‘space and time’ to see about a girl.. BUT

I was in psychosis.

It was nine years ago and the more time I put between that unfortunate mistake, the better I feel!

And it was really, really bad for us all, here.

I was scared and had no insight. I spent about three months thinking I was… (nah I can’t even get into it all here!) (It was bad.) !!!

But I’ll now be MED COMPLIANT for the rest of my days on this rock.

And you know I have a decent sized conscience.

When I cause of effect things toward women on here, it’s normally and usually just that I dig deep, and keep digging…

(I ‘hate’ that I am not for everyone!! I want more, you know? (But I digress.))

I offer this ‘talking’ up to the gods… I am sorry if I frighten(ed) people, historically. I’m gonna KEEP talking though! : ). And people are all safe from me.

And. I. Love. Women.

Chalk my (b.s. past) up to running out of time, a modicum of simple frustration, (they’re hard to figure out!!), and me wasting time building a nest of finance (i.e being all work and no play.)

Makes for a dull man, you know?

I am not an eligible catch for anyone. I wear grey new balance sneakers, there’s a meme out there about that even. My sz gets me thinking I’m great, grand, and can do things… but the sad truth is that I cannot.

I’m sorry about boundaries. Crossing lines in sand, or concrete!

Mic drop.

@Twialine could I get a ‘wut wut’ here?

Poured my inner monologue into some of this.

P.S. The dress is Marvelous!!! Sorry though about the corset aspect. That part, makes me feel like dog meat as a man!!

Maybe try to know, that weight and figure aren’t always everything and all.

(I use to exercise profusely, but looked like I was trying too hard, or compensating for something.).

Though your safe from those critiques I really think. Men and women just have different mores and norms, etc. I Really like the dress!!!

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You should talk about this with a therapist so you can work on and learn appropriate behavior towards women, even if it’s just in your head.

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My conscience has never felt cleaner or clearer.

And I had two appointments with my therapist who is a woman and I don’t embarrass I have delved into things with her a year ago.

But the latest two appointments I really didn’t feel any needs about it. Are you positive your reply wasn’t a little too harsh building upon what I posted?

I’m referring to traveling a long distance to see someone without being invited. I’m not trying to be harsh. I’m trying to help you so you don’t get yourself in trouble

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I couched it in a ‘Good Will Hunting’ way on purpose. At this time I feel like adding that.

I was in psychosis; and she inherited all the friends… because we follow people more often than not.

It takes ‘leadership’ now; to give a break to someone who doesn’t talk to as many people.

Everyone sided with ‘who can win.’ They don’t stick their necks out enough.

She’s not a survivor. And I’m not a creep.

I was in the ‘city of sin’ when I found a computer lab and spoke to her, spoke to my fam there too, She was in the ‘city of angels’. My thoughts are that was the way of it; but there’s other ways to look at it.

We live in a winner take all society. She got the spoils; I made her desirable, and specifically can’t my cross country drive be looked at as a ‘big accusation’ of sorts that something confusing was said and done?

Like I said it was nine years ago. Feel like adding that again too.

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I don’t think you’re a creep. I never thought that.

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@Happy2Help. Glad you’re doing better than your past!

Thank you! I have always loved corsets… My mom on the other hand hates them… I don’t tightly tie them or anything… I keep them tight enough to feel like a hug that’s it… And the belt has no boning in it meaning it’s a fake corset!

Btw look for my next post about the cthulhus I made

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@Twialine

Thank you, I didn’t see this originally…

It is a mistake I made; and it is my past.

I told my mom the other day (cause we were talking about the reliability of the Toyota Camry ) (We replaced it eventually with another one.) that’s how and why it came up; and I said: ‘I cant believe that happened’.

And she said: ‘I can’t either’.

The woman’s folks were in touch with mine every night…I was too frugal to have a smart phone as of yet which would’ve shown a light into my eyes and I thought it’d all be consensual if I passed tests of the woman in question. I ‘liked myself’ as I drove… (There’s that).

And I had all the intentions in the world to fly as well, I wasn’t purposefully making it all the more dramatic.

But I ‘capitulated’ one night, and got shot out of the cannon - after arguing with my folks about it!

The senior moment here additionally was I forgot you could order plane tickets with just a debit card?? (So friggin stupid of me again in retrospect) so I turned to friends and they all wanted more info, but surprise was a theme too.

The only feelings left on the subject are lthinking my male, married, friends stymied my healing by not letting me talk it out on the matter. Was friends with them for thirty years.

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