I need to vent

I just feel like ■■■■ right now. My life kinda sucks. I feel like whenever I’m outside and walking people are either afraid of me or something because they all either look away or if I look at them they kind look at me like I’m weird. Maybe it’s the way I look at them. Like they can tell I have some mental issues. I have a lot of anxiety and paranoia so I don’t do much nowadays. I dunno it’s just weird. Maybe its cause I’ve put on some muscle and I’m 18 now, also I’m black, maybe people think I’m scary but I’m not that big. I’m feeling really lonely and mentally ■■■■■■ up.

Thanks for reading.

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My life was hard for me when I was 18. Nearly fifty years later, my life is better.

Jayster

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I don’t think being black makes u scary. It’s more about demeanor. I do think about me having white privledge sometimes, cuz i walk around my poor, area a lot and think noone will think i’m dangerous cuz i’m white.

Idk what else it could be, it’s not like I’m a visibly weird person. I dress normally, I act normally. Maybe its my anxiety or something.

maybe paranoia i cant eat at restaurants because everyone stares at me with mean faces but obviously the whole restaurant isnt interested in little ol me …at least thats what my psych tells me

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It can also be the illness. Sometimes I may think people feel a certain way about me when I’m in public but then I realize I’m mostly just picking up on vibes or what I perceive to be how people feel about me. I think I know what people are thinking about me but when I’m feeling better mentally myself then I feel like people are nicer to me. It seems to directly correlate with my current mental health. Then there’s times when it’s obvious that someone doesn’t like me so you never know. However, most of the time I am just imagining people not liking me because I feel like I can tell what they’re thinking, which in reality I really can’t.

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people give me strange looks also they talk about me maybe i look suspicious because I’m a black teen with dreads i don’t really know but i hate going places now

Yeah I’ve noticed it definitely correlates with my mental state.

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Yeah idk man
1515

I can relate. I feel really uncomfortable around people in public, especially on the streets. I think living in a large city is pretty bad for someone of my temperament, with my issues.

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Yeah thats pretty much how I feel.

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When I lived in the downtown of a big city, I used to get catcalled and stared at by male passerbys despite being conservatively dressed and average looking. It made me uncomfortable to be judged and I felt hesitant to leave my home. Something that made it easier to walk in public was to hear relaxing music and wear sunglasses to keep in my own world and I tried to focus on the beautiful nature (skies, sunshine, etc) instead of people. Everyone has the right to enjoy life, breathe fresh air, and go for walks. It 's difficult, but try not to let them ruin it :purple_heart: I was not able to handle the stresses of the big city and I actually ended up moving to a more peaceful place and this greatly helped me because there are mostly student’s with families living here. But perhaps you are stronger than me :purple_heart:

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It sounds like paranoia, catsrcool. It is difficult but try not to worry about what passersbys may think. It isn’t easy to deal with paranoia, but give it some time. Hang in there catsrcool. Being 18 and having a mental illness is rough.

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Yeah it is. Thanks for your reply.

I’m a half Mexican, half white, middle aged woman who looks white. When I was a younger woman, I was very paranoid and I thought that I could tell what everyone was thinking too. And I thought everyone was thinking really terrible, bad thoughts all about me. So, I’m right there with you guys on this one. I know what this feels like. No fun. I’m 57 now and the paranoia is now gone. I use a lot of AP’s and coping skills to manage it.

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Maybe its the way you think about it, maybe they don’t look at you strange but like you feel that way you think they looks are strange, do you understand ?
But I have to say that I feel the same way when I see someone at the street, maybe it’s all self-defeating, I prefer to think that.

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You’re probably doing better than me. I leave the house about once a month. :confused:

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Yeah I think I need to change my AP or something. Thanks :slight_smile:

Yeah I think that may be a big part of it, I think I’m weird so maybe I perceive other people as looking at me weirdly.

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I didn’t leave the house for around 8 months very recently.

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