I need some serious help from the women on here 👶🏻

So I’m really scared to even post this so I’m just gonna get right into it. I’m pregnant, and I’m not the least bit happy about it. In addition to not wanting kids in the first place, I was pregnant once before and it just didn’t work out. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until I went to the urgent care clinic in a panic and they told me I was having a miscarriage. I don’t know if I should even tell my fiancé in case I lose this pregnancy too. He would be so happy to be a dad and I don’t want him to go through losing another baby. I’m not gonna get an abortion because I know my fiancé will want to keep the baby, and obviously I’ll have to tell him at some point, but do I tell him now or do I wait to tell him until I’m a little farther along? My doctors told me that I will probably have a hard time carrying a pregnancy to term so I’m just concerned this won’t happen. I really want his support though. I could really use some advice from the ladies in this forum because I’m terrified and very alone right now.

I think you should tell him right away, not good to hide these things from our loved ones. It’s his child too, he’s allowed to have an opinion. Don’t manipulate the situation, you’ll regret that later.


Thanks, I guess I’m just afraid to disappoint him. I know he’ll love me no matter what but I don’t wanna feel like I can’t give him what he wants in life

I think it’s a very important decision, not to be taken lightly. I don’t know if you have the means of having a child right now, if I remember correctly you’re very young still, so there’s time to know if you want kids or not. You should tell him and make that decision together. The sooner the better.

And, ffs, contraception exists honey!

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Yeah I’m not even in my mid 20s yet. And I take the pill religiously but I was on an antibiotic for a few weeks and I think it messed up my pills. Last time I was switching forms of birth control and that’s when the first time happened

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I see. Happened to a friend of mine too. She had the baby girl. Sorry for assuming you didn’t take precautions.

What’s really bugging you about this? Is it the decision to keep the child? If it’s that, you should make a decision with your boyfriend.

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Don’t keep secrets. A relationship is built on trust to each other. Think about the baby too. Are you two ready for a child? Both of you need to be involved in caring for the baby.

What’s bugging me the most is the fact that if I tell him, and something goes wrong he’ll be upset. I don’t want him to get depressed. I know that if I have the kid I’ll love it and I won’t regret it but I’ve been told I have a low chance of successfully having a kid. So I’m really worried about my fiancé getting excited and then getting let down

Make sure he understands the issue the way you do, than. The best you can do is help him, and be honest with him.


That will pass. Being upset or sad because of a loss in part of being human.

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We’re short on money but other than that he’d love to be a parent

And how about you? You need to be ready, both of you.

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I could tell him now but he’s asleep next to me and I don’t want to wake him up and just blurt it out to him. I wanna make this as much of a fun happy experience as I can so I think I wanna tell him in a really nice way. But I’m not creative so I don’t know how to tell him

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Not a lady, so not offering an opinion or advice, but sending you hugs and best wishes for a positive outcome, no matter what decision you make. :heart:


I really don’t want kids ever because im scared of passing on my SZ. But should I give up on kids forever because of a possibility?

Thanks pixel :slight_smile: it’s nice to feel supported and cared about. Hugs!

:slight_smile: Just tell him tomorrow over breakfast. And make a decision together, really lay down your worries and opinions about the idea of having a child. This should be a decision made together.


The chance of them having sz is slim, about 10%, and in the future the meds will be much better or even a possibility of a cure, so don’t hold your wishes on that issue.

You always have such good advice. You’re like the advice queen of the forum :slight_smile: I still have the test, should I show it to him? Do guys think that’s cute? Or is it weird because I had to piss on it lol I’ve never had to tell anyone I’m pregnant before so I don’t know what to say. I don’t just wanna be like “so yeah…babies” I’m a little bit excited to tell him actually. Still worried and scared but I’m looking forward to his reaction. Being this emotionally confused is making me nauseous :mask:


:smile: Thank you!

It’s okay to show him the test :slight_smile: