You know you must resist any violent impulses you have. You can’t harm yourself at any cost. That is a thought which should never change. Just repeat that thought to yourself, make sure you don’t have a plan to harm yourself either.
If the idea of being hospitalized triggers you “hospitalize” yourself. Remove objects or any means you have from harming yourself from your environment.
Don’t worry, you can get through this without harming yourself. Believe that.
I’m trying to. I’m sorry. I’m honestly in so much pain cause of my ribs now. I started to hyperventilate a little But the pain was unbelievable so I’m just not ok physically. I’m just trying to draw that’s what I’m trying to focus on more than anything.
I am terrified of hospitals but there’s not really much nearby I can hurt myself with… And I could move something that’s not good for me but I know that’s gonna hurt so I’m just going to leave it for now.
Hey, @Noise I’m so sorry I was asleep when all this was happening. I know your situation is different than a lot of other situations, so I won’t push you to try meds if you’re not ready for them.
Some things I do to calm down are:
Put an ice pack on the back of your head. This will cool down your brain and reduce activity in your limbic system, where emotions happen.
Do a task with simple, clear steps. I like baking. I follow the recipe, and it’s easy enough that I don’t get frustrated, but it requires enough concentration that I don’t have room to think about other things. Cleaning also helps.
Engage your five senses. This will remind you what is real and what isn’t. Listen to soothing music. Smell something pleasant, like an essential oil. Suck on a hard candy. Look at pictures of things you enjoy. Feel something with an interesting texture, like a piece of Velcro or a stress ball.
Breathe in for four seconds, and out for eight. Slowing your breathing forces you to calm down. If you can’t manage that, breathe in for two and out for four, and slowly work your way up. See how long you can make your breaths.
Meds really are the best help you could get. Right now . Is there someone who could administer them to you and hold on to the rest so you won’t do anything bad with them?
Why are you so afraid of meds? Talking about it could help or hurt so do what’s best for you
I can’t do them it’s a trigger for me too.
Oh sorry. Hang in there. Just get through the worst of it and things will get better. I hope you feel better soon. Maybe heat of ice on the ribs will help. I don’t know what works. Maybe look it up.
Take deep breaths if you can and when you can. Breathe the positive in and the negative out. The negative is just dust then
I’m gonna just tell you some basics about why.
There are other things but that’s all I’m willing to say about it right now. You can pm me if you want to know more but right now I’m too exhausted to go into detail.
Sorry if that seemed kind of standoffish I was just trying to get through it as fast as possible.
I am feeling a bit better this morning I got a little sleep and calmed down enough to give my ribs a break they still hurt but Its tolerable at the moment. Ice helps a bit I’ll put some on in a bit.
Deep breaths are a no right now cause of the ribs but I am trying to take normal even breaths! I think I will try to meditate. Thank you for your concern and trying to help.
I agree with @amethyst . You should draw out your emotions. I know writing how I feel trigger me because it reminds me of how I’m feeling. So if you draw some meticulous and something that represents how you feel you might feel better. Whip out some water color, and if you don’t have that, get a glass of water and a paint brush and mix the pencil graphic to make it smooth. Best of wishes Noise
Man I’m so sorry. That’s something I can’t even begin to say I understand, so I won’t lie to you. But, I’m here for you. You’ve always helped me and gave me support, so if you need to talk probably like a pm, I’m open my dude. Just rant everything and tell me what’s going on. I wont judge, I have some really embarrassing ■■■■ in my life so I’m used to everything you would consider embarrassing 
best of wishes my man, sending love your way
I drew a genji last night I just tried to follow a reference picture as best I could and it helped get my mind off a lot of the really bad things at least for a second. I wanted to do something more creative but my brain was just kinda preoccupied with everything else. it made my ribs a bit uncomfortable cause of the angle I was at. I didn’t know water and graphite would make it smooth I’ll have to try it.
@Noise I think you need to be honest with yourself and admit that you just don’t fancy taking meds(which is your choice of course) . Nothing bad will likely happen if you do.
Ok this made me physically sigh and it hurt like hell and yet I’m trying to resist the urge to do it again. No man its a trigger. My trauma is not a joke. Don’t tell me that it’s just I don’t “fancy” meds it’s insanely disrespectful. You know nothing about my trauma and how it’s effected me. This genuinely makes me so mad. Try to have a little sympathy and put yourself in my shoes. Meds are not an option I struggle to take things like cold meds (which I’m supposed to take every 12 hours but cant) I struggle to take a painkillers even though I suffer from severe migraines. I’m struggling to take the painkillers I was given for my ribs that are killing me. It’s not just I don’t want to. Don’t pretend you know me.
Ok then, I’ll play ball. How are you traumatised by meds? Did you have a bad physical reaction(side effect) to a med at some time? Is it merely a psychological antipathy to taking meds or are there concrete physical reasons why you can’t?
I’m gonna just tell you some basics about why.
There are other things but that’s all I’m willing to say about it right now. You can pm me if you want to know more but right now I’m too exhausted to go into detail.
Ok so I copied and pasted that from an earlier question that was a lot more respectful than yours.
But ok when I get triggered it makes me have a variety o flavors such as
1.a panic attack. panic attacks are shockingly not good. Hyperventilating is bad especially when you have asthma like I do and also with my recent rib injury it’s extra bad.
2.dissociation which really isn’t horrible. Cause losing time and having a body on auto pilot it’s kind of like a “look mom no hands” approach to being a person. Oh wait except im not always on auto pilot instead my DID is just like hey let’s put a stunt double in your place have fun living with the consequences of whatever these other people do in your body. Look I love my alters but they get me into a lot of ■■■■.
3. I get suicidal like this is very much pill centric like of my triggers this is the one that is the most dangerous cause I’ve had it where I take a pill and then I just keep taking pills. (How I’ve never ended up in a hospital from this is a miracle)
4. It makes me want to self harm.
I’m tired so that’s as much as you’re getting right now.
@Noise Sorry I wasn’t on the forum last night so I just saw this thread now. @ninjastar has some good solid advice for dealing with panic attacks and anxiety etc. without the use of meds. This hopefully will help in the short term when you’re experiencing acute symptoms. For the longer-term, I would recommend that you ask your therapist to work with you on Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy (CBT) techniques. There are also helpful CBT books and workbooks that you could use yourself.
@integrity @jukebox and everyone else on this thread — you all did a terrific job communicating with Noise and being there for them. That’s why this forum is such a wonderful place. Everyone looks out for and supports each other. 
Here are some CBT books
@Noise, this is a pro-med forum. That is the culture here because studies overwhelmingly show that they are the absolute best shot people have for recovery. Whenever you post here, people will recommend that you find a way to take medications.
I understand that you have issues that make medications difficult for you. However, you can’t get angry and rude with people who suggest them here. That is a basic foundation of this forum, and if you choose to participate here, you will have to adjust to it.