I need some advice. I think I have had my first delusion that I am aware of

I got really emotional in English (I was pretty excited before it too, unhappy excited though). I got in there are I got really, really angry. I would say before 15 minutes were up. These two were talking across the room like they had discussed this class. My process:
They are laughing at me.
They have a secret writing club I’m not invited to
They go there and laugh at my writing at that club
They are plotting against me. They want to bring me down.

I managed to wrestle that down pretty quickly 30 seconds- 3 minutes, but it didn’t go without a fight. It was like pulling an over grown weed out of dry soil alone. I really had to wrestle with it. I did what you guys talked about and outlined facts to myself. Those two are probably in the play together (I know she likes to be in plays), they probably talked about this class at rehearsal, there is no proof that anyone else is involved. I don’t remember the rest of it.
But here is my question:
can you get so angry that you become delusional?

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No, I think a delusion is the result of a situation that made you too weak to get angry. My delusion is “I am not a person.” I know how I get that idea but am not strong enough to vent effectively about it.

Good job stopping yourself from falling into the grips of schizophrenia. I have had therapy and practice fighting my delusions, and what you are doing is very good and I know it’s not easy, I still have to wrestle a few delusions out of my head every day. But it can help rewire the brain, neuroplasticity is a real phenomena, it works

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Once A Poet;

First of all, you realize that what you are thinking is potentially a false belief, then it is not really a delusion is it? A delusion is fixed false belief. You are questioning what you believe which is a good sign of critical thinking that is intact.

I wonder if there is something behind your perception of the plot, perhaps something that is the real source of your insecurity. Try to unpeel the onion or knot of this suspicion you have and if you need help, ask your parents.

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I hope you don’t mind me saying but what you went through is exactly what I go through when I’m fighting a wave of paranoia… That someone is out to get me, make me look the fool. Then I do get angry, I do have to stop and realize I am NOT the center of attention.

Delusions just sort of pop into my head quietly and grow into firm belief until they butt up against another belief and then my head goes… “wait a minute… how can I have two opposing beliefs?”

Then I have to quietly ponder and talk it out. Plus, one delusion will build from another. The kidnapper delusion built from a very deep and previous delusion that I had about my kid sis when she was born. They just build… One on top of the other.

But for me a quick POW of anger with "They are talking about me behind my back… " That is my version of paranoia.

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Could you please go further into this? I don’t understand what you are saying. I was furious. I only felt weak after yelling in my friends room for about an hour and a half to get it out of my system. I was ready to put some cold fury on anyone who gave me an opening.

What is neuroplasticity?

You heard their evil laughs, probably all that that was.

I can hear them also, drives you a little crazy after a while.

Chances are they cruelly cackled to eachother about billions of people.

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Maybe I wouldn’t call what you felt a delusion. It sounded more like “Love me or hate me but don’t ignore me.” Weren’t you just picking a fight? Just for the stimulation?

No, it was more that I felt like I was being plotted against. Then I got a huge rush of fear that kinda helped me snap out of it.

basically the brain being malleable and changeable. The brain can have its wiring altered by the way we think.

Often when I had paranoia in the past it was generated by hyper active safety response before all facts were in. Sometimes it can’t be helped because we are basically wired to survive. I find as you have, that if I open my mind and discuss with myself the competing ideas against the gutteral response of FIGHT OR FLIGHT, I can resolve the delusions. Take a break and do some real thinking in a quiet and natural place.

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This was the most reassuring thing I’ve read all night. And since you’re studying psychology, I assume you know what you’re talking about.

Happens to me all the time. But I am often able to prove myself wrong. For me at work I will be working near two people talking. They start laughing and I would SWEAR they were laughing at me. But I either check out where their eyes are directed towards or any other methods i have learned and after thinking this EVERY day I am getting pretty good at being able to tell that people aren’t laughing at me.
But here’s the specific thought that can ruin it for me if I run with it. I think" Well I may have been wrong all those other times when I thought they were laughing at me. But THIS time I am right and they are really laughing at me". This thought sinks me every time. It’s like I need my delusion to be right and I am just looking for evidence so that I can say, “Aha, I was right all along, everybody is laughing at me”.
But they aren’t.
Your post sounds like classic paranoia and faulty thinking. You were jumping to conclusions with no hard evidence. Luckily you identified your faulty thinking and wrestled the faulty thinking down and got it under control.
I can work myself up over a delusion and become agitated. And sometimes my anger makes me not face reality.

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