I need help and have no one to talk to... does this sound like schizotypal

Hey you guys! If I’m in the wrong forum please help me I’m new here and I’m scared lol … I’m about to type alot so excuse my errors lol I cant afford a psychiatrist and I’m too scared to tell anyone about this because I think this might be a delusion or if this is real. I was under a world amount of stress last year that made me lose touch with alot… I cant feel and I’m numb… I have anxiety, add, quiet borderline and chronic depersonalization/derealization. I know it’s bad to self diagnose but these symptoms are too strong and specific to ignore… if anyone wanna talk about it I’m here :heart: anyways. Being under alot of stress, I constantly feel like my head is a balloon and I have fish eye vision 24/7… I have recurring weird vivid dreams every single might that I can’t remember… a picture from my dream pops up later in the day and I remember what it is. . . My dreams almost have this story line of being in a post apocalyptic world and everything is vignette… I now have a fascination with time. Its creepy because now all I see on my clock is 11:11 2:22 3:33 5:55 11:12 9:11 and I randomly see 666 everywhere… it scares me because I see it every single day now… I’m slowly believing something is going to happen because I keep seeing these numbers every single day… this sounds crazy but I dont wanna tell people about it until I talk to someone that actually gies through this. I have intense thought loops and my mind races all day and all night… just about the situation that made me start feeling this way. Family issues… I believe my mother deals with her share of mental illnesses as well… I speak a little weirdly too, with quick pauses. And I cant focus on anything and when I do I focus and work on it for hours… I’m an artist. I have a good following on Instagram too , I have an obsession with the galaxy. All of my art is based on it since I’m still trying to figure myself out… I dont have many friends because I dont go anywhere and that’s okay because I love my solitude. I dont have hallucinations… I see stuff in the corner of my eye but I just dismiss it. I don’t hear voices… I heard one a few months ago and it scared me… I have a thing where I hear police sirens sometimes … one time it was loud and intrusive and when I closed my ears I heard a man say “JESUS CHRIST HAS RISEN”… clear as day… my ears were closed and i heard this man say it… i tend to dissociate to cope nowadays which might be a bad thing because my memory suck and i could be doing other things then being stuck… theres so much going on with me right now. Inside my head seems louder than my real life with all these things going on… my inner voice is not mean, but I think It might be suicidal… I’ll never do that but it scares me and i have no one to talk to about it… i hope someone can give me advice… i also have disturbing intrusive thoughts. … i am also very nice and high functioning with all of this as well that’s why no one has expected it… theres days where I want and need to scream because I feeling like I’m going to tear my self apart… ugh… if someone can talk to me about their experiences I’d be so happy :heart:

Could you please go through and add some paragraphs? You might get more of a response that way. I know a lot of us have a hard time reading walls of text.

I went through the time thing. More than likely you see a lot of other times and numbers than you mention but you don’t notice them as much so they don’t create an emotional response or a strong memory.

I know you said you can’t afford a psychiatrist but maybe a health clinic or primary care doctor? It was my primary care dr that prescribed me meds until I could get on my feet enough follow through with proper medical attention.

These symptoms for me got worse and worse until I finally realized that there might be something wrong with and got to the doctor.

I’m not saying that you are or are not having psychotic symptoms or an episode because I really don’t know. It is important for you to get to a doctor because:

  1. Only a dr can diagnose. There were times when I thought there was something wrong with me and I was really wrong.
  2. Psychotic episodes can get much worse if they are not treated. To the point that you have no clue that the real world exists anymore.
  3. Psychotic episodes can cause serious long term and permanent damage to your brain. It’s important they get treated.

I hope you all the best.

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I saw same kind of numbers for few days, but they went away with AP. I turned my clocks down cause it gave me anxiety.

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Okay I’ll fix that!

Yea I don’t like clock ticking sounds always need an electrical clock in my room…

The thing about seeing 666 everywhere, it’s not the true number of the beast. According to old pamphlets discovered from the dead sea with that part of the Bible written on it, the number is 616. So basically, you did the “666” thing to yourself subconsciously, it’s not a spiritual message.

The 666 thing is basically a Hollywood-ized version of the number, but it carries no spiritual weight.

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I want to keep reading and help you out, but I’m having trouble keeping track of your sentences. Sorry. My eyes just can’t scan all of those words lumped together.

You’ve got to go to a doctor i think the sooner the better, gp can help if u cant go to psychiatrist. If it gets really hard to handle then the emergency room might be where u have to go. I dont know much about schizotypal but it does sound like a first episode psychosis in my unprofessional opinion.

I suffered from schizotypal before being diagnosed with schizophrenia, and I must say that except for the time thing it all sounds quite familiar. Mind you, most people with schizotypal disorder or traits, don’t go on to develop schizophrenia. Stress is probably the key, and the first thing you need to address. Obssesive rumination certainly doesn’t help, but then again there is a strong correlation between artists and schizotypal disorder. It’s not a crippling condition and it can be managed. All the best.

I have heard about 616 but in apocalypse it’s 666

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