Schizophrenia.com

I need advice

There is a woman in my apartment building who constantly comes to my door asking for cigarettes. I’ve been giving them to her. Well over a pack already. Cigarettes are very expensive here. $15 a pack. I can’t afford to support her habit as well as mine. I’m scared if I say no I’m going to cause a rift and I really don’t want bad blood within the building. She says she will get me a pack when she gets her money but I have a feeling that may not actually happen.

What do I do?

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Say I’m sorry, but I can’t afford to give you cigarettes anymore. My budget is too tight.

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Don’t allow yourself to be robbed out of politeness. Unfortunately there are people who’re parasitic and will take advantage of other people.

Especially in this kind of way.

That’s just my take on it. I may have a more bitter view, as I have been taken advantage of like this in the past in various forms.

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Quit! Win-win for both of you.

Or stop giving them to her at least.

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People hate when other people borrow from them constantly, so you need to turn the tables. Act like you don’t have cigarettes and say,”I was just getting ready to bum a cigarette off you.” If you bug her enough she’ll run the other way when she sees you coming. I use to have a friend that always wanted to borrow money and not pay it back so I turned the tables and asked him all of the time to help me with work, he got the idea. Boundaries are healthy, exercise them. Good luck with that.

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This person sees you as nothing more then a resource. They might act pissy but they know they’re just conning cigs off you. You are doing nothing but being played.

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This is a Mooch. Every psychiatric facility or housing project will have at least one, usually multiples of them. They will have worn out their welcome with most their already and have targeted you because you are fresh meat and a possible “mark”. You do not want to enable this individual. Really no downside to shutting the door on them.

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If you are afraid of conflict you can always just keep telling her you’re on your last one.

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Yes. The Mr. Squirrel method of conflict resolution is not for the timid.

image

:smiling_imp:

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I can’t afford to keep giving you cigarettes. I barely have any for myself. I can no longer spare any cigs. I hope you’ll understand. Thanks. Shut door.

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She’s in the wrong here but she has her hooks in you. This situation will go on indefinitely unless you stop it. Try the honest solution, tell her you are on a budget and you can’t afford to give anyone free cigarettes. She is wrong here on a few levels. She should not be getting anything of yours for free. She knows what she is doing and she probably knows she has you intimidated which is not right. She knows you were just trying to be nice at first by giving her cigarettes but now you both know she is taking advantage of you. She is being rotten so you have to be rotten back and cut her off. You don’t owe her anything.

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Don’t answer your door anymore to her.

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That sounds really annoying. We never get situations like that here in my neighbourhood. On the contrary we are given Xmas presents by our neighbours etc.

If it were me I’d just tell her like what @Pianogal said.

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You shouldn’t be afraid if this person.

Do what nick77 said.

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tell her you’re quitting…she doesn’t come in your place…

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