There is this guy that I have been conversing with from a dating website and Ive spoken to him on the phone once.
I feel like Im not good enough it is not his fault but that is just how I feel
shall I call it quits
Im coming off my meds In Spring if voices don’t come back so I could relapse with this self consciousness nervousness stress isn’t it???
I don’t want that
I really need some logical opinions, I feel like IDK wat to do, feel kinda sad to let go of it
but maybe it is for the best
I always found it challenging to maintain a relationship with others back when my relationship to myself sucked. Looking for validation from others will always leave you hollow if you don’t validate yourself first.
Thanks this is the kind of stuff I need to hear I guess…
thanku so much
I also think that if you feel like the stress of a relationship is enough to cause a relapse, maybe you’re not recovered enough to try without meds just yet.
If your gut is telling you not to continue with this guy (for whatever reason) then don’t.
I think it is just so much stress cos I am not suitable for that specific guy even if I fancy him somehow.
Need to be with the right guy.
plus maybe im just not ready to be with anyone, thou im not sure bout that
My gut is saying maybe I should give one meet up a go but my logical side is saying is this feeling of stress in me really gonna change by seeing him??cos I have spoken on the phone already after all
but who knows maybe if I meet him It will be different that’s the thing and then it would be a potential lost opportunity
Then maybe you could give it a go. So what if it doesn’t work out. Plenty more fish in the sea
That’s what Im thinking. It might feel different when I am actually with him and find out more about him
I think you shouldn’t be scared of the “Well what if it does not work”, by that logic you will be single forever. I say if you think having a partner would make you happy then go do it. You need to be a little bit more brave on the rejection thing that you talk about.
Told you, you would find it easy, haha.
I think it would make me happy if that excessive stress thing isn’t there.
maybe it will go wen I meet him isn’t it.
and if it doesn’t then ill just end it, he will understand I think
You made a thread yesterday saying finding a partner would be hard.
well I was already messaging with him at that point but I was thinking of ending it at that point cos of the needy validation feeling
If your gut says meeting is the right choice, then go ahead and meet. I think the stress you’re talking about is normal to a certain extent in the beginning of relationships. It’s just a question of how severe it is. If you think it would destabilize you, that’s not worth the risk. If you think it’s something you could learn to manage over time, well, that’s just what being in a relationship feels like.
When I first met Mr. Star, I was worried I would be “too crazy” for him. But because I liked him so much, I worked super hard to make sure I didn’t end up hurting him with my own insecurities and neuroses. I had already done a lot of personal growth at that point, but I also still had (and currently have) a long way to go.
Prior to Mr. Star though, I broke it off with a lot of potential dates. They didn’t feel right in my gut, and I didn’t feel ready, so I just told them I had too much personal growth to do at the time, and wished them well.
Thanks @anon98459728 @Ninjastar @everhopeful I really needed a reality check on this !!
What did you decide you were going to do?
I am going to give a meet up a go.
with the mindset that if I feel the same way as I did before then I will call it quits.
But I wont have regretted the opportunity cos I gave it a FULL shot