I need advice from bipolar and depressed people

So I’ve been reclassified as bipolar, I am also asking for help from people with depression because this is a depression side problem, not a manic side.

Last night I got really sick and had a whole lot of bad thoughts. My Mom and I call them “bad thoughts” for whatever reason instead of the desire to commit suicide. I think the actual term makes her about as uncomfortable talking about it with me as it would make me talking about it with her.

In any case though I just went into a severe depressive free fall in what felt like two hours. I don’t know if my depression has been building or not but it felt like a free fall. Does a free fall happen with bipolar people? I can’t tell what it was because I’ve been depressed since first grade and was untreated until my senior year of high school with only a two year break from 10th to 11th grade. So depression feels normal to me and I can’t usually tell I’m getting sick until I get severely suicidal. Could I actually be free falling? What I mean by free falling is having a severe depressive attack with little to no warning.

Does free falling exist? If it does is just one episode worth moving up my appointment? I’ve been doing really well and I think the reason I got this way is because I didn’t take the vitamins my dr prescribed. They got in my bag and out of sight, out of mind…

Oh, and here’s an early happy 4th of July picture.

My moods have been very stable lately, ever since getting off of the Lamictal.

In the past I would get ‘free fall’ depressive episodes out of the blue!

I think its normal for these quick and furious type mood shifts to happen with bipolar.

The good thing is that I will cycle out of a deep depression rather quickly - in and out.

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